Bring back the parasites
Whatever happened to the good old ads on television?
Nowadays all we seem to get is health supplements and cosmetics and cars.
I would cheerfully shoot Andie McDowell and that screechy voice of hers….
We used to have decent ads telling us the virtues of Gouldings 10 10 20 fertiliser. There were pictures of happy looking farmers letting grain trickle through their fingers. I learned all about the benefits of a good dose of fertiliser on a crop. I could have started a farm.
The best ones though were the ones involving animals. I learned all about drenching cattle and sheep dipping. We had lovely film of farmers ramming tubes down a cows throat while he [she] got a shot of something weird and wonderful.
My favourites though were the ones that showed actual magnified images.
Who can possibly forget the Sarcoptic Mange Mite?
Or even Sucking Lice?
And they always put those ads on at mealtimes…………
TRIPLE-A GOLDEN MAVERICK
A for acidity!
A for accelerated growth!
A for anti-scour!
They were better on the radio – you could make your own pictures. Ugh!
They went down well with big plate of Coddle!
People here hate Andie McDowell as well, perhaps we could arrange a nice visit over there for her…a nice walk in the countryside perhaps?
We don’t get the fertilizer ads any more coz they promote bomb making and the war’s over now. And anyway, if a farmer doesn’t know the tools of his own trade then wha de fuh? It would be like putting ads on the TV for Fluke Cable testers and Krone punch tools.
I think they don’t show the agricultural ads anymore because there is very little agriculture left here. Courtesy of the E.U. farmers make more money growing trees than crops.
As an aside I was stuck watching Polish T.V. last night while herself was feeding himself and every second advert was for a mobile phone company. Oh! and a vitamin supplement called IBUM which I found hysterical.
Herself didn’t get it though.
You know you are right – its been too long since I’ve heard anybody using words like liver fluke and mastitis.
Maybe like TB and Polio – they were at epidemic proportions but careful management and the advancement of science has made them almost extinct. We don’t need to worry about them as much now as they are much less of a threat than they once were.
Grannymar – No. I prefer the great graphic detail!
Stepford – Maybe if we gave her a dose of Sucking Lice, she’d stop waffling on about her face cream or hair conditioner or whatever it is she’s always on about?
B3n – Plutonium is better anyway. Maybe they should start advertising that? And anyway, we all know the tools of our trade so why do they keep telling us how to clean our toilets, and brush our teeth?
Robert – True enough. They’re all into drug smuggling and diesel refining these days.
Is IBUM an enema??
From what I have seen on Polish television so far I wouldn’t be surprised if it was!
Triple A Golden Maverick, that was my favourite ad. A bunch of cowboys all playing cards for a sack of, erm, animal milk replacer.
Them were the days alright.
Absolutely Grandad. But, you left out some of my favourites. Yes.. sucking lice, and sarcoptic mange mites, but also… ‘Liver fluke’, ‘Inhibited Ostratagia’, and ‘Warbles’.
The fluke made it by sheer luck. But, I did wonder why the Ostratagia were so inhibited. Come on lads…. You should let themselves go… relax. Have some spleen. You’re among friends after all (the Warbles and the like). Warbles are a pugnatious breed of carniverous Womble.
Stamp Out Scour, with Leo Red Dry Cow Injector! STAMP OUT SCOUR! Drench Now!
Oh.. the day’s of farmer ads are dead and gone… but wow, they were hilarious if you were a city boy.
“You’ll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.”
Sorry John – You got caught in my spam-trap! I’d forgotten about Maverick, and remember it well now 🙂
There was one I was trying to remember, and that’s it – Inhibited Ostratagia 😮 What a name!
I really miss those ads now. They were nice and homely. compared to the utter crap they advertise now…..
“Sorry John – You got caught in my spam-trap!”
Thought so! Just remembered… there was a couple of dance DJ’s going around a few years back called Triple A and Golden Maverick. It obviously inspired a generation.
J.
Grandad,
Course the ads were on a mealtimes, when else would there have been a farmer watching television?
The loss of the ads is probably just another sign of the disappearance of the small farmer. I have an uncle in Somerset who gave up a couple of years ago and became a bus driver. He says it’s the first time he ever had a guaranteed income and regular hours.
Net Nitrate / Net Urea had a catchy little tune as far as I remember…
Most of these are still on on All Ireland Sunday….and of course the culchies bible….look it up, check it out! Tá sé ann! The Big Red Book!
I love how shit ireland is at stuff.
Just saw an ad for Cillit Bang yet again on Polish T.V. They are lucky because that don’t have any annoying fecker shouting about it like we have.
Yiz are all bringing back great memories [except for that damned Cillit Bang yoke].
Does anyone remember those cheap slides they used to show at the end of the breaks? They were always for some local tailor or bicycle shop or something. I think Maurice O’Doherty used to do the voice-overs and he used to sound as bored as hell!!
Ah, they were all mostly Norn Iron ads weren’t they?
Some shop selling anoraks in NewtonArds – the voiceover guy always sounded like he was holding his nose and speaking into a bucket.
Or that fuckin eejit Maurice Pratt from Quinnsworth?! LOL! (I wish I could make that LOL bigger cos he was such a well named soul)
Thank you for those pics…….there goes my lunch
Chenounction – a quare name, but great stuff!
Mange mite. Is that a typo?
JC – I do not like to think of an alternative spelling 😉
Didn’t Miley from Glenroe do are few of them ads, “shop at some Toyshop in Limerick this Christmas”
With a picture of a big green plastic tractor costing a few hundred quid.
I don’t remember Miley, Feckless, but who can forget Biddy and her Surf 😉
A little birdy told me that Biddy used all the money she made from the surf ads, to plant trees, in Leitrim!
There ya go now.
Why on earth would she do that? Nobody goes to Leitrim, do they?
Ah yeah Biddy, my God, that takes me back, once upon a time many moons ago, as a young eejit, I use to have impure thoughts about that Biddy.
Anyroad, back on ads, I still remember Miley, doing the voice over for the red neck toy shop down the country. Did he finish the ad saying something like “Sure you’d be mad not to” Or is that from another ad.
Was one of the ads Systamex, and of course panacure SC. The ole selenium cobalt came in handy over the cornflakes.
Speaking of maurice pratt, youtube has 2 of em.. nuf sad lol
Does anybody know the name of the music they played on the triple a golden maverick ad, the one with them all playing poker? It sounds like it comes from a western.
I think I know this one. I’m pretty sure it was…Ennio Moricone, For a Few Dollars More, with an excellent voice over, Bill Golding or Jonathan Ryan… not sure…
http://www.last.fm/music/Ennio+Morricone/+videos/+1-vdVTW8m3hBw
I can see the farmer ‘drawing’ his medicine gun and ramming down the throat of that poor cow.
If it wasn’t this music, it was like it. 🙂
Anyone remember Mick Dillon on mart and market?
Ahhhh! Mart and Market. The most exciting programme of the week!! 😉
Mart and Market… lol. Brilliant. And I always thought a Mart and a Market were the same thing. Not in farmerland it seems.
No. Mart and Market was a programme on RTE where we were blessed with views of dirty cattle being prodded in the auction ring. Riveting stuff!!!
I cam across your brilliant page by Googling “quare name but great stuff” – thank you some great memories!
“Mart and Market” – otherwise known in our house as the “scour-hour”, and hosted by “cow-jacK” (Ireland’s own Telly Savalas, Mick Dillon)
Urban Farmer – Welcome, and thanks for the kind words! There is no doubt about it – television isn’t what it used to be. Bring back the good old days!!