It’s my favourite time of year.
No. Nothing to do with leaves turning colour or falling off. Nothing to do with the rapidly approaching C day. Nothing to do with the long nights. Nothing to do with the cold.
It’s that time of year when my feet make a lovely sound as I walk through the fallen receipts. Yes – it Tax Return Time!!
I love doing tax returns. I love hunting through files for receipts and invoices. I love all those calculations. I love all those obscure questions they ask on the forms.
But above all I love the thought that I am contributing in my own small way to Bertie’s salary.
Poor Bertie. he works very hard at his corruption. He has all those payments to forget, and all those brown envelopes to burn. And then there is the Tribunal. That must be exhausting and very expensive.
I know he has just told us to tighten our belts, and that we mustn’t be greedy when looking for pay increases, but I really think he is worth nearly €1,000 a day. My income is a teeny teeny fraction of his, but I must do my bit to contribute to his lifestyle and his offshore accounts. Even if it does mean living off frozen mince for the next year.
Wait a minute……
They owe ME money!
Well, f*ck you Bertie, you snivelling little b*ll*x. You snide little gangster. You corrupt little sh*t.
give me my f*cking money.