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When there is a vacuum in your life — 18 Comments

  1. I have to admit taking a fancy to one in a shop not so long ago. The fact that it looks like it’s been lifted from a star trek set is worth the money on its own. Warp speed 9, Mr. Sulu.

  2. I have a feeling it does a heck of a lot more than just suck up dirt.

    I must take it apart today to see what’s inside….

  3. What do you mean what’s inside? We all know that by now it will have half a tonne of beard hair, pyjama buttons, nail clippings, etc….

    In other words it will contain 48.675% of Grandad!

  4. My eldest sister gave me a Panasonic vacuuuum cleaner in 1984. She claimed it didn’t work. I took it apart and cleaned all the dog hair out of it and to this day that thing will suck ideas out of your head.
    When is Granny’s birthday? We can figure out how old she is. Let’s see, K8 just turned 12 and Puppychild is 2…..hmmmm….that would make Granny…..25!! Wow, a quarter century. Congrats!!

  5. God Forbid that I demonstrate my love for MsB3N by purchasing a fancy new kitchen appliance for her! You have it easy Grandad, you have it easy. In saying that though, we have it’s little brother. Dyson, he’s a bit of a genius methinks, have you tried his new Airblade hand dryers? To be found in some establishments throughout the country. No more flapping about under a light current of luke warm air, just insert hands and remove them slowly, bone dry, you don’t even have to shake them beforehand or wipe them in your trousers afterwards.

  6. @Grannymar – You have me very worried!! Do you realise if she sucks up 1.326% more of me, then I’ll be more Dyson than Grandad?

    I won’t be able to blog then, unless she plugs me in first

    🙁

    @Brianf – not for another couple of weeks. I’ll pass on your calculations. She’ll be very pleased!

    @B3n – Airblade hand dryers? That name is a bit off-putting? You stick your hands in and they are surgically removed? I prefer the old ‘flick and trouser wipe’ myself.

  7. My dad once very unwisely bought my mom a new electric can opener for her birthday

    She opened the back door and threw it as far as she could and it was never seen again.

    Funny thing is he once bought her a new snow shovel for Valentines day and she thought it was great!

    Womens is very confuscilating

  8. I have a thing for vacuum cleaners. I have always wanted a Dyson but didn’t want to fork over the megabucks to get one. One day….

  9. @Sean – I’m not going down that road. Confuscilating hardly describes it.

    @K8 – Thanks for that link. It proves we have arrived [twice!].

    I’ll say one thing for it though – it may not make the tea, but it’s not bad at sucking up Sandy.

  10. Grandad,

    You are very extravagant.

    My brother in law once gave his wife an extension lead for her birthday that he got by collecting vouchers with Esso petrol. It was to make it easier for her to cut the grass.

    Do you remember the TV series ‘Potter’ with Arthur Lowe? Mrs Potter used to get given things like chainsaws.

  11. @Ian – It’s called true love [or fear?]. Your brother in law sounds like a sensible man.

    @Baino – I once gave her a gold watch. She bitch slapped me and said [and I quote] –

    “How am I supposed to do the ironing with this

    And what the hell is a Christmas Beetle? Serves you right for having Christmas in the middle of summer.

  12. Pingback: Granny Lost The Plot » Blog Archive » I’m back where I started

  13. you bought her what…for a special b’day either you really thought she’d want a cleaning machine for her b’day?..you now realise that she’d known about the dyson and lay in wait for your return….meaning that now you’ve to go get a really romantic and expensive present for the surprise

  14. *sigh*

    You have worked out her method! Throughout the year she comes at me with expensive things she wants – “It’s my birthday present for next birthday” she says.

    By the time her birthday actually comes, I have spent a fortune. And the first thing she says in the morning?

    “Where’s my birthday present?”

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