I mentioned on Tuesday how the neighbours had knocked down their house.
The builders have been working like the clappers all week. You’d know they weren’t Irish.
There are two of them. I don’t know what nationality they are, but the always give me a friendly wave as I patrol my boundaries. They used to stop for meal breaks, but since our Sandy did a dump on their breakfast table, they don’t even do that any more.
They start work every morning at seven. Yesterday, they were working until midnight, non-stop. That’s 17 hours. I’d love to see an Irish builder do that! And they were back this morning at seven.
They caused mayhem yesterday, as they had a stream of huge lorries delivering fresh concrete. None of the lorries could enter the land so they blocked the lane while the concrete was trucked in bit by bit. The other neighbors were not best pleased.
I know how they do it though. I know where they get their stamina from.
They have a little dumper truck, and that’s what gave them away. All day yesterday it was going beeep beeep beeep. Which meant they were driving it backwards. So that’s it. They do everything backwards.
It makes sense when you think about it. If you go backwards, then you end up earlier than when you started. And you are not as tired, because you are now only beginning the job. Very clever. I’d love to talk to Einstein about it, but he isn’t around at the moment.
They’re out there beavering away at the moment in the p*ssing rain. I checked, and – yes – they are still going backwards. And the work is coming on at a fierce rate.
They must have realised that the beeep beeep beeep was a bit of a giveaway, because they switched it off yesterday and haven’t switched it on again.
But I know their secret.
I’m not stupid.
It sounds as if they’re working faster than the speed of light. Objects that move faster than the speed of light appear to be going backwards and from your theorising, I’m guessing that the builders are Poles as there are TWO of them and they are working at such speeds as to generate a phenomonen known as Bi-Poler Flow or Bi-Poler Mass Ejection.
They read up on the theory of relativity.
If you travel fast enough you can go back in time. They don’t really get that much done in a day, what’s happens is that the sit around reading The Sun and eating breakfast rolls for a couple of hours, then say, “Jeez, lads, its 11 o’clock”, so they start up the dumper truck, shift back to nine o’clock, and do a couple of hours work. Then it’s time for a tea break, which lasts till one, then the truck is started up again, and so they go through the day.
And who needs Einstein when I have you lot around?
Yes. That was more or less my theory – that they were somehow working faster than light. That would explain the odd loud bang as they go through the light barrier.
Is this what they mean by Bi-Polar Disorder?
And think of the implications….
If everyone could be persuaded to drive backwards to work, think of the time that would be saved.
The loud bang is probably them reversing into the neighbour’s Beamer. Sonic booms come with breaking the sound barrier, I think there is a bright flash when you break the light barrier. Do you remember the bit in Star Wars where they couldn’t get the spaceship to go into faster than light mode, then when it did there is a sudden rush of light?
I think old Albert would have liked Star Wars!
Time to call Steven Hawkings.
I had wondered about whether breaking the light barrier would cause a bang or a flash. So maybe we haven’t been having a thunderstorm all day? Maybe it’s just them?
I tried calling Stephen Hawking but he’s busy today. He’s having tea with a friend.