Making Dublin a safer place
So Dublin is going to ban 11 breeds of dogs to make the place safer?
You realise, of course that this is the thin end of the wedge?
In a couple of months they’ll ban all dogs. This will not only make the city even safer, but it will be cleaner too.
A few months later it will be cats.
They will lose the run of themselves at this point.
From then on they will proceed to ban species in the following order:
- All animals
- All wildlife
- Skobies, Yobs and Estonians
- All Eastern Europeans
- All non-nationals
- Anyone with red hair
- Itinerants, smokers, drinkers and SUV drivers
- Members of Howth Golf Club
- Anyone who doesn’t have a valid Irish passport
- Anyone who isn’t a member of Dublin City Council
Of course this is going to have some radical side effects. They will have solved the transportation and housing problems. There will be no crime [apart from that committed by Dublin City Counsellors]. In fact, Dublin will be a pleasant place to live.
Except, of course, you can’t live there any more.
I disagree. Surely us red-heads are less nefarious than SUV drivers?
It’s funny how threads move through blogs. I always felt I’d missed my mark as a celebrity dog trainer. But seriously, it’s people that make vicious dogs. We’ve already banned Pit Bull Terriers, American Terriors and some other sort of fighting dog. Grehounds have to be muzzled and the bloody Chinese won’t delivery take-away if there’s a labrador present. Country folk on the other hand, can still take their uglies (and I’m damn sure these dogs don’t have pedigrees) out into the bush and let them tear the bejeezus out of wild pigs. It seems if it’s ‘feral’ it can be torn apart rather than killed humanely.
PS: you should add tourists, directionless women and people who wear sunglasses on their heads to your list.
Great! grey haired ould biddies with freckles never got a mention 😉
@Donal – Take it up with the Council. They make the decisions. Maybe they know something about red-heads that I don’t?
@Baino – As far as I’m concerned, all dogs are fine. They should just have their teeth removed. As for your postscript – I take care of them.
@Grannymar – You’re in there [unless of course you are a member of the Council?].
I just finished Italo Calvino’s ‘If on a winter’s night a traveler’, didn’t understand what it was about (I read it for a course in the autumn), but near the end this guy erases everything from the map, starting with people in uniform. He ends up with a flat, barren landscape, and is horrified to discover the only people left are a girl in the permanent distance and bureaucrats from Section D – who sound like men from the city council!