This is the weirdest thing.
I think I have fixed my Interweb connection!
I don’t know what I did exactly, but I found my way into my wireless thingy [that little blue box with loads of cables out the back and lovely flashy lights on the front and two strange looking sticks at the back]. It has loads of interesting screens inside. Ron would kill me if he found out I’d got in.
Actually, when I say they are interesting, they aren’t really. There are no games in there [I looked] or anything fancy like that. But there are loads of places where you can change selections and type in random numbers. So that’s what I did. I typed in random numbers, and made some different selections.
It did some strange things. At one stage, the garage door opened [and it’s not even a remote garage door]. Another time I managed to switch channels on the television by pressing the backspace key. I also think I may have killed my next door neighbour [he has a pacemaker] as I heard some strange screams from in there.
I cut myself off from the Interweb a few times, but it’s back now. And here is the strange thing –
It’s going like the clappers!
What is even more strange, is that during all the shenanigans and tests, I wasn’t even using that box.
Maybe my ISP was lying all along and they have just fixed the fault? Coincidence?
Anyway, I have added a few functions to my keyboard now.
- F1 changes the channels on the TV
- F2 changes the tracks on my CD
- F3 sets off all the burglar alarms in the neighbourhood.
- I don’t know what F4 does, but the dog comes screaming into the house and hides under the bed.
- F5 makes lovely toast if you place the bread near the computer.
- F6 makes any aircraft in the region suddenly change course.
- I daren’t press F7.
I’ll never get the hang of this computer and Interweb thing.