I got it up
This is the weirdest thing.
I think I have fixed my Interweb connection!
I don’t know what I did exactly, but I found my way into my wireless thingy [that little blue box with loads of cables out the back and lovely flashy lights on the front and two strange looking sticks at the back]. It has loads of interesting screens inside. Ron would kill me if he found out I’d got in.
Actually, when I say they are interesting, they aren’t really. There are no games in there [I looked] or anything fancy like that. But there are loads of places where you can change selections and type in random numbers. So that’s what I did. I typed in random numbers, and made some different selections.
It did some strange things. At one stage, the garage door opened [and it’s not even a remote garage door]. Another time I managed to switch channels on the television by pressing the backspace key. I also think I may have killed my next door neighbour [he has a pacemaker] as I heard some strange screams from in there.
I cut myself off from the Interweb a few times, but it’s back now. And here is the strange thing –
It’s going like the clappers!
What is even more strange, is that during all the shenanigans and tests, I wasn’t even using that box.
Maybe my ISP was lying all along and they have just fixed the fault? Coincidence?
Anyway, I have added a few functions to my keyboard now.
- F1 changes the channels on the TV
- F2 changes the tracks on my CD
- F3 sets off all the burglar alarms in the neighbourhood.
- I don’t know what F4 does, but the dog comes screaming into the house and hides under the bed.
- F5 makes lovely toast if you place the bread near the computer.
- F6 makes any aircraft in the region suddenly change course.
- I daren’t press F7.
I’ll never get the hang of this computer and Interweb thing.
Don’t touch F7 – it does funny things to me!!!!!!!!!!
Ah! So that’s what it does. Does it give pleasure or pain? And be careful how you answer.
Good job you can’t see my face!
I’m going to keep pressing F7 until you tell me. Unless that’s what you want?
Whatever you do don’t press ctrl-alt-F9-Del-Insert-prnt scrn-
I need to speak with Ron again and we need to figure out how to keep you from changing all these things he takes so much time in setting up.
Now how is Ron suppose to make any money from house calls when his customers are changing selections and typing in random numbers all willy-nilly and making their PC’s run better? They are suppose to run like crap so you call him and he comes over and makes it worse and charges you for it. Geez!
Someone once told me press Alt and F$. Seemingly it does some cra –
F$. That’s a new one. I meant F4 of cour –
But it’s fun, Brianf. And anyway Ron is always bitching that I’m not willing to learn. He should be proud of me.
Alt + F4? Sounds interesting. I’ll give it a tr
Sounds like the network fairies are up to their usual tricks. At least once a day they get into our network. Use PiXiE boot to get rid of them.
There are no fairies in this house. I set mousetraps for them!
There should be a hairdryer function on the keyboard to recover lost data.
A friend of mine was writing an essay on an Amstrad in the mid-80s. His mother came into the room and unplugged the computer so she could plug in the vacuum cleaner.
He came into the room and shouted, “Where’s my essay?”
“Did ye try the hair dryer?” she said.
i had one of those routers a few weeks ago. bought it at the car boot sale for 10 eur, played around with it for a few days and sold it for a bit more on ebay. its actually a nice router but i had no use for it. the thing runs linux and everything
btw nice symmetric connection. i’m stuck with 384k upload 🙁
Does F5 butter the toast as I would really like that function.
@Flirty – Sorry, but no. It just melts all the butter in the area.
@Dankoozy – Maybe it is your one that I have? It is nice and symmetrical, with the aerial on each side. Some of them only have one aerial and they look unbalanced.
Or did you mean something else?
@Ian – I trust your friend held the hair dryer to his mothers head and forced her to re-write the essay?
Did you guys hear about the 16 year old Mexican girl who got pregnant?
Yea, her teacher told her to go home and do an essay.
What has that got to do with the price of biscuits?
You’re loosing it Brianf. Go and get a tattoo or something.