My name is Grandad and I am an addict.
It is a terrible thing to confess. What’s worse, it is a very embarrassing addiction. It has taken me months to pluck up the courage to admit it.
I am so ashamed of it, that even Herself doesn’t know about it, and we tell each other everything. Certainly, I never told our K8, as she could never hold her head up in public again. I can’t even go for counselling, as I’m too ashamed.
So here goes my awful confession [Oh God! I’m finding this hard!]…
I’m addicted to those horrible little games in Windows.
You know the ones – Solitaire, Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire.
I have tried removing them from my computer, but I just keep reinstalling them in my sleep. I have tried wiring them to my private parts so I get 1000v through my nuts if I play. But that rather adds to the pleasure, I’m ashamed to say.
I sit down to do the household accounts or write a book or something, and the next thing I know, I’m in the middle of another damn game of Minesweeper.
I blame RTE of course. They had the games installed on their computers and that is where I had my first furtive game of Solitaire. Little did I know the terrible path I was heading down. Little did I know of the sleepless nights to come, or the terrible cravings. If only I had known that some day I would be sneaking a quick game of Spider when Herself thinks I’m in the kitchen making a cup of tea.
I even tried switching to Linux, but I found that that comes with dozens of games, and I quickly got hooked on Mah Jong. I had to remove Linux immediately.
I’m so afraid of moving onto the harder games like the on-line ones. I know then that my life would be over.
I’m thinking of running away and joining the French Foreign Legion.
Maybe I could help them clear mines?