I should be paid — 20 Comments

  1. And I should be paid to laze about on a recliner all day too. People don’t get paid to do things they enjoy, such is the masochistic nature of the world and anyway, I’m surprised you weren’t accused of trying to give them cancer.

  2. Ah, my dad smoked cigars in his office. My job was to run over after school and buy him his daily fix. (before under 16 laws). So, when I smell cigars it brings back lots of happy memories.

    Have you considered how much you want to be paid e.g. minimum wage or barrister rates?

  3. You could do themed pipe smoking – cannabis for those who want to remember the 1960s; Jeyes fluid for those who are into remembering schooldays; Easter lilies for Republicans; grass cuttingsfor gardeners, and so on

  4. @Dario – They loved it. Why would they complain? And there is nothing to stop you getting a job testing recliners?

    @Flirty – Cigarettes are the curse. They stink and evoke no memories. Cigars and pipes are a different matter [though I find cigars a bit overpowering sometimes!]. I hadn’t considered rates of payment, but free coffee or Guinness, depending on location, would be enough for me.

    @Ian – You are indeed a genius. I would just hope though that more people would want to remember the 60s than their schooldays. Do you want the job as my agent?

  5. Grandad this will have to stop! We keep stealing each others ideas. Are you a mind reader? My late Husband often said I was a witch, so that might explain why I had the same idea as you for blogging in the past.

    I came across a photo of a late uncle with his pipe the other day. It reminded me of about seven other pipe smokers who came to our house down the years. The pipes were as diverse as the characters who smoked them. And as for the variety of tobaccos….

  6. Sorry Grannymar. You are right. Amongst my many talents, I am a mind reader. It has saved my life a few times in the past when Herself slipped a ‘little extra’ in my dinner.

    But it goes to show how evocative a pipe is.

    We should, at the very least, be exempt from the ban.

  7. Love the Blog site, just like to throw in my tu’pence as a 41 yr old new to pipe smoking. If I die of cancer next year it will have been worthwhile, smoking a pipe is just about the best thing I ever decided to do in my life. Love to here more of your pipe stories.

    I’ve only ever got 2 bad reactions to my pipe, one from a very fat and grumpy barman, and the other from a ‘famous celebrity’ who drinks at my local cafe here in amsterdam. I think he hates it so much because his dog keeps sitting beside me. I should add the girls like it too, and are usually a good deal less bitchy about it than mister ‘celeb’.
    Keep up the good work…a ‘Dub in the Dam’.

  8. Welcome Dub in the Dam [now there is a great name for a blog!!]

    Any cigarette smoker should try the pipe. It’s much more relaxing [and cleaner].

    People like it in general, and 99% will admit they prefer the smell to cigarette smoke.

    People who object are not worthy of mention. And what the f*** is a ‘celebrity’ anyway, but someone who’s ego is too big for their body.

  9. Grandad, much inspired by your blog, I’ve been busy starting my own since my last comment. I should be doing my VAT returns…but hey thats life.

    I’ve been planning to do one for a while, but really the modernity of your prose and posture just gave me a good kick in the bum.

    PS your on my Links list.

    Dub in the Dam

    Oh before I forget, the important stuff…what tobacco’s do you smoke?

  10. Holy sh*t! I’m embarrassed and honoured.

    There are more important things in life that VAT. That can wait until another year 😉

    Not sure what you mean by “the modernity of my prose and posture”? If anything my prose is somewhat dated simply because I do my best to avoid modern “Americanisms” [I hate ’em]. And my doctor says my posture is all wrong?

    Welcome to the War on Terror [I mean – Bush] and don’t worry about the CIA – they are all over here around my house.

    Lastly – Benson & Hedges Mellow Virginia. It’s my only one. Been smoking it for the last 35 years or so [Christ!!!]

  11. If I lived in Dublin I would be down Peterson’s or Fox’s every other day, a bit pricey though. I am a strictly ‘only tinned’ man. Mac Baren’s, McConnell’s, Peterson’s, too many to mention. Don’t get B&H here. Will stock up on a few treats when I am back in the old sod, next week as it happens.

    Your writing style is very uncontrived, and dare I say slightly timeless, with a certain youthful stride to it too.

    Sometimes Irish charm is alot easier to give than take! I shall stop it promtly.

  12. I steer clear of Dublin. Hate the place. I had enough of it.

    Thank you for the nice words. I write as I think and speak [but with slightly fewer expletives]. I don’t know where the youthful bit comes in!

    At this rate I’m going to have to write a new post – “Blogs I am responsible for”!!. You’re the third, and there is another bloke I’m pushing like mad. He has a fantastic sense of humour, but says he is too busy[!]. BTW I’ve added you to my blogroll too.

  13. Couldn’t agree with you more about Dublin. I had a career change in 2002, moved back to Ireland, didn’t work out…never again, maybe a summer house when I am old and grey. If I rob a bank between now and then, that is!

    Muuusssst dooooo taaaaxxx pape…..rr………s

  14. hi! well by chance along my pipe research i happenned to come accross this blog! fascinating!

    im 18, and hadn’t even smoked more than a taste of a cigarette about a year ago until a week ago when i purchased my pipe, and well i was fascinated by pipes for a while so i went out and bought one as soon as i could. WOW. i hate cigarette smoke, it tastes foul, but i can be completely truthful in saying that pipes taste (and smell) terrific! im so naive, i just asked for the quality tobacco and ended up with some “mixture” scottish blend from mac baren, and after much research on the net on the finer points of smoking a pipe i am going to say this will be a past time i will enjoy for the rest of my life

    thank god for the pipe smoking community!

    however, in australia amongst my peers no one i know smokes a pipe. i hope to change that haha

    and ps, the Mighty Boosh inspired me to smoke a pipe. stupid really, but im glad i took it up 🙂

    thanks for the blog 🙂 great read

  15. Hi Rohan.

    Thanks for the compliments! 😉

    I’m not sure I’m that happy hearing about someone ‘just starting’. My advice would be not to smoke at all.

    However, if you must smoke, then the pipe is the way to go. It’s cleaner, healthier and more pleasant for those around you. I find I even get pleasure in the maintenance bit! I give the pipe a good clean-out each night which is quite a process.

    If you are taking up a pipe seriously, I would recommend a filter pipe. I have a link on this site to Elie’s Pipes, where I bought my present one. It’s a complicated thing. Essentially, the smoke travels three times up and down the stem to cool it and to condense the tars. It then passes through a paper filter before reaching the mouthpiece. It’s a very cool smoke, and you’d be amazed at the amount of sh*t it traps.

    But, as I said, the best option is not to smoke at all……. ?

  16. well thanks for the advice 🙂

    if i can summon enough money next year (when i join the army) i will definitely look into that filter pipe you mentioned

    don’t worry about me getting cancer or anything though, because i don’t smoke enough, and i doubt if i will ever have enough spare money to be able to afford enough tobacco (i’m never going to buy cheap stuff now i have sampled the good tobacco), and i bum puff so i’m sure to have already quartered the risk…

    i can definitely notice how much cleaner, or even fresher pipe smoke appears to feel. and compared to any other form of smoking there is nothing more pleasant for bystanders than a person with a pipe.

    ps. how many people don’t bum puff pipes? apparently it is the way to go, but my old man was telling me that he and all his sailor mates never used to “ponce out” like that.

    well thankyou again “grandad”

  17. ha oops sorry, it must be an australian term :S

    its just not inhaling smoke all the way into the lungs nothing to do with bums hahHAAHAhaha ahhh sorry

  18. Thank God for that! I thought it might be something like that, but….?!

    Yes, pipes are for ‘bum puffers’.

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