I AM paranoid, and someone IS out to get me. — 15 Comments

  1. CIA in Ireland would be like saying the U.S. troops have landed at Shannon.

    Grandad I think its about time we put you away in a home as it may look like you could be a danger to the general public.

  2. More to the point – I think its about time I was put away in a home as it may look like I am in danger from the general public.
    And U.S. troops in Shannon? Surely not! Didn’t Bertie assure us that the Great President denied it. And who are we to doubt Bertie?

  3. Dammit, Grandad, I didn’t want everyone to know about my title! Now those ‘investigative reporters’ and secret services types will be snooping around even more. They’ll probably assume that I indulge in all sorts of deviant sexual behaviours, know Mark Thatcher personally, and have various shady connections in the world of haut espionage (including an inside line to the winners lists of Superquinn chocolate egg competitions). And we all know how that stuff sells papers…

    So I’d play down your contacts with me, unless you want to attract even more attention than you already have. Mum’s the word, and all that. OK?

    (And please — just plain old “Peckerhead” from now on?)

  4. P.S. I could tell you who I really am, but then I’d have to crack a dismal joke about having to kill you.

    Rest assured, I’m beginning to think that I didn’t actually meet you in the past, and just had you confused with a namesake. That is, it wasn’t really me that met you (or your namesake), but rather my little-known cousin, the Earl of Peckerhead. But I can’t prove that in a court of law. 😉

    P.P.S. Just how big a supply of Prozac and Valium do you have? Maybe we could meet up, after all…

  5. HAH!!!!!! I knew I wasn’t imagining it.
    Here we have it folks – in black and white. He strikes again.
    OK. Pecker, I have about 586 Prozac left [diminishing rapidly] and around a kilo of Valium. Does that tempt you to expose yourself? Or do you do that in the public park anyway?
    And I don’t know any Earls of Peckerhead either..

  6. Just because I don’t habitually use my title doesn’t mean that I’m cheap.

    Tell you what, though — do you think your pal Ron could help me to dislodge the upstart American who seems to have taken the domain name that should rightfully be mine, and parked on it what looks like an eight-year-old’s first foray into Flash? I’ve prepared better PowerPoint presentations in my time.

  7. At last the mystery is solved. He thinks I’m someone else. So he’s not stalking me – he’s stalking someone else who doesn’t even know it.
    Now that the confusion is sorted, I will certainly pass on your comment to Ron and Dick about the domain name. They will probably tell me to f*ck off as I have been pestering them a bit lately, but more about that in the coming days.
    Stay tuned….
    Now I have to start the long slow painful withdrawals from the Prozac and Valium.

  8. If you’re posting at 5:40 in the morning while you’re still ON Prozac and Valium, I shudder to think what you’ll be like when you come off them…! :eek

  9. *sigh* One of the side effects of growing old. I woke at five and couldn’t get back to sleep. I got up and had to do something to pass the time…..

  10. So this could prove the CIA is in Ireland but not after you of course. This must also mean the U.S. troops have actually landed in Shannon….questions must be put forward to Bertie about this, denial or not.

    You are paranoid, time to call the men in the white coats. I would do it myself but I dont have any credit in my mobile.

  11. Of course the CIA is in Ireland, and troops probably have landed [but we’ll repel them with pitchforks – remember 1798?]
    No point in asking Bertie – he’d only splutter and lie as usual.
    Don’t worry about the phone call. My psychiatrist says I’m fine again. He just upped my dose a bit.

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting