On being urinated

Head Rambles Posted on by 7

I’m really pissed off today.

It’s an accumulation of frustrations and annoyances and it’s wearing me down.

This laptop is still playing silly buggers. I switched it off yesterday after my little scribbles and placing a grocery order. Later I switched on again and it failed AGAIN. It’s now a lottery with very few winning numbers. Usually I get that irritating “grub>” or “Error: Command not found”. Sometimes I get the boot menu but usually that does fuck all too. I think I am going to have to go back to first basics – delete all the new Linux partitions, do a Factory Reset, recreate Linux partitions and install Linux from scratch. And I bet the Grub loader will still fuck things up.

The central heating bloke still hasn’t turned up. I’m still using the old system which is drinking oil.

The tree fellers have postponed their visit for a second time. I’m getting really pissed off with them. They now claim they’ll be here on Tuesday.

Then there’s the Virus. There is always the fucking Virus. We’ve had a year of it now with their petty restrictions and penalties. That shower of cunts in Nphet tell us that the numbers have come down which is not a good thing. I don’t know why. They want more restrictions anyway just in case the numbers go up again. All they care about is their fucking numbers. Do they realise that people are not just numbers? Apparently not. Numbers, statistics, graphs and charts are the order of the day and actual people apparently don’t exist. If they want a number then what about 830,000? That’s the number of people waiting on hospital admissions. That’s nearly a fifth of the entire population; many probably with life threatening problems.

At least they’re talking about allowing us to have a holiday this year.

Provided it’s in our own back garden.

Isn’t that big of them?

Feeling grubby

Head Rambles Posted on by 13

I have been having some minor problems.

It was more of an irritation than a problem but yesterday I decided to do something about it.

I have this grand new laptop. In every respect it is one of the best I have ever used. Except for the little irritation.

I would fire up the machine and instead of being presented with a nice little menu offering me Linux or Windows, I would get a blank screen and a little “grub>” cursor. Fuck all use to man or beast. I would have to do a Ctrl+Alt+Del in the hopes of something different. Sometimes I would switch off and on again. I am a trier.

Occasionally I would actually get the Linux/Windows menu, but selecting either would usually give an error “Command failed” or if I was lucky “You need to load the kernel first”.

After ten or so reboots it would suddenly throw up the correct menu and I could run my Linux or Windows.

I think I might be forgiven for trying to fix this?

So I searched the Interwebs. I tried Boot Repair. I tried a few other suggestions. None of them worked. Yesterday I had a fuckit moment and decided to start completely from scratch and do a Factory Restore. So I had to back up everything first which took an age.

I navigated through the many Dell menus until I found the Factory Restore. It warned me in no uncertain terms that I was about to wipe everything and that the machine would revert to its original pristine condition. I sighed and told it to go ahead. Off it went churning away and finally announced that my machine was as good as new. I rebooted.

grub>

FUCK! Now I couldn’t get into anything. The machine was bricked.

Using my USB stick I tried all sorts of stuff like revisiting Boot Rescue [no good] or a few other suggestions such as manually generating my menu.

This morning I tried a fresh Factory Restore. Maybe it would behave itself this time? It didn’t. All I got was grub>. Strangely though if I went into the F2 Boot menu it said that I had WIndow and Linux installed but I couldn’t access either. In desperation I did a Linux install. Maybe it would fix the problem. It did. Up to a point.

I am now back to rebooting about ten times before I can get into Linux or Windows. Both are working once I get in [but of course I have to reinstall all my own software except for Linux where my backup was nearly unnecessary].

I got into my current Linux after about eight reboots. I’m pissed off with it and can’t find any solution.

And the central heating has packed up.

I must have pissed off God at some point.

Tree fellers

Head Rambles Posted on by 8

Tree fellers are calling here tomorrow.

Dat’s right. Der’s tree of ’em goin’ to cut down a tree.

I’m quite sad about it as that tree is one of my favourites. It’s a large Beech that self seeded about fifty or more years ago. Since then it has grown into a magnificent specimen. At one stage a Clematis tried to take it over. The Clematis managed to completely blanket half the tree up to the top. It was a fantastic cloak of pink in the spring but it was damaging the tree so it had to go.

I have put off the demolition for the past few years. My argument is that it’s a beautiful tree and a favourite of blackbirds who shout their heads off from the top all summer.

There are two problems though. One is that it’s a bit close to the house. I’m not that worried about roots though it is a small consideration. The thing is that it is directly south so it puts the house into the shade all summer. The only time we can enjoy a sit-out on the terrace in summer is after around four or five. Any earlier than that and everything is in shade.

The other problem is a sneaky one. I had some problems with the satellite dish last summer that involved a realignment of a new dish. I hadn’t noticed it before but the dish is pointing perilously close to a couple of huge Beech branches. Another wee while and another spurt of growth and bang goes our satellite reception, particularly in summer. Herself would be gutted at the loss of da telly.

There is going to be collateral damage too. A drop of friendly fire. An apple tree is directly under the Beech and will probably be FUBARed. It’s years since that tree bore an apple but it is near Herself’s window and she likes watching birds fighting over the bird feeder that hangs in the tree. No tree – no feeder – no birds to watch.

So the job has to be done and it has to be done now before birds start serious nesting.

I’m not looking forward to the noise.

Beech tree
Bye Bye Beech

On being confusioned

Head Rambles Posted on by 15

My car is due its first official road test last month.

Seeing as last month and this month were fully book up I put it down for March. If they have a problem with that, then that’s their problem.

The test is next week which is fine [apart from the fact that it lands me in the morning rush hour and even worse, I have to get up early].

It occurred to me that I had better have the car checked over. I have had it for eighteen months so it’s about due a service anyway. I phoned Spanner and he can do it on Thursday. Fine. Except that the car could do with a bit of a clean inside.

The forecast [mine, not that shower in the Met Office] is for rain tomorrow and Wednesday so if I were to clean out the car I would have to do it today.

I did it just now.

I was surprised at how clean it was. There was the usual quarter ton of gravel in the foot well which gets carried in on my shoes and there was a packet of mints which had melted into a horrible sticky mess. There was a nasty area in the boot where it looked like someone had vomited but I cleaned that easily. Actually it was a Mexican Bean Tagine which has spilt but it still looked like dried puke.

In the days when Sandy was around, cleaning the car was a nightmare. She shed hairs like a blizzard and the cloth on the seats and floors where solid with them. It was a nightmare cleaning them using combs, dry sponges and a powerful vacuum cleaner. Penny sheds hairs all right but is very neat about it. She has a rug in the middle of the back seat and it’s the only place she’ll go in the car so all I have to do is remove the rug and give it a good shake.

Anyhows, I was vacuuming away when it crossed my mind that I had never actually seen the engine. It shows how old I’m getting as it used to be the first area to explore. But in all those eighteen months I had never once lifted the bonnet [that’s the front lifty uppy sheet of metal that you Mercans insist on calling a “hood”]. The time had come.

And this is where the confusionism comes into play. For the life of me I can’t find how to open the fucking thing. I have searched everywhere. There is a lever beside the seat which I pulled but that just opened the boot [that’s the back lifty uppy sheet of metal with a window on it for you Mercans]. That was no good. I pulled another big lever I found in the darkness and the whole steering wheel column fell on my head. That wasn’t it. I found another large knob that seems to twist but it’s quite stiff and didn’t have any obvious effect. I don’t know what it is but it isn’t what I was looking for.

In the end and in moment of utter frustration I tried the last and ultimate resort [to be used only in sheer desperation] – the manual.

There it was. A little lever on the side of the foot well. It was on the left of the drivers foot well but the illustration was for a left-hand drive, so it must be on the right hand side by the door. I happily went back to the car.

Nothing. No lever. Just a nice pristine surface. No knobs, levers or switches. Nowt.

So I still haven’t seen my engine.

I wonder if Spanner knows the answer?