Plotting holidays

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10

There is something I have been meaning to do for a while.

I finally went and did it.

It was just one of those idle brain-fart ideas where I thought I would plot every holiday I have spent in Ireland.

That is not so easy as I haven't a clue what years I went where when I was young, so I decided to confine it to years since I was hitched shackled married.  This meant going back over nearly forty years but luckily i had kept records for some of that time.

The strange thing is that I have records of holidays I don't remember at all.  Apparently we spent a holiday in a place called "Quilty" which could be the name of a place or a house or even the name of the people who ran the joint.  I do vaguely associate the name with a rather genial couple so it must have been a bed and breakfast place.  It was in County Clare, where there is a village called Quilty but I don't ever remember being there.

Then there are memories of events and places that have no records, such as eating a beautiful dish of wild salmon in a place on Valentia Island, so we must have had a holiday near there at some stage.

There were a couple of surprises.  We spent one holiday [1985] in a wooden chalet which I expected to be long gone, but it's still there.  Then there was a beautiful country hose hotel in Dunmore East [1999] that we loved, but that's just a hole in the ground now.

So my quest to map all my holiday destinations remains incomplete which is a pity.

I think we have the island fairly well covered though?

Holiday locationsUPDATE:

Cat has risen to the challenge.

Cat's Holidays

Damn!  Either Cat is a holiday fanatic, or I haven't been going away enough…….

The chosen few

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8

I was just poking around in my Spam folder and I came across an email.

It was from one of my local gubmint representatives.  He writes on a fairly regular basis, and must have got my address from one of the abusive mails I am in the habit of sending.

I actually feel quite sorry for him.  He is full of youthful enthusiasm and seems to be incredibly naive.  Either that or he is just another duplicitous mendacious cunt?

Apparently he has been "chosen" to run for the European elections -

I have been asked by the Taoiseach to allow my name go forward as a Fine Gael candidate for the Ireland South constituency in the upcoming elections to the European Parliament.

OK.  So I can add him to the list I won't be voting for.  That's easy enough as I won't be voting for any of 'em.

But then comes the part where I cant decide whether he is just an innocent twat or a devious cunt -

However, it is clear to me that Ireland needs to send its strongest possible team to Brussels to advocate on its behalf this May. The EU is the single most important source of funding, support and assistance that Ireland has. We need to send constructive, pragmatic MEPs who will continue to advance the interests of Ireland at every level of the EU. I believe that I can play my part in continuing to improve relationships with our key European partners and to ensure that the people of Wicklow and Ireland South have a strong voice working on their behalf in Brussels.

Is this bloke serious?  Does he seriously think that he will have any more influence on Brussels than a spider on the ceiling? 

One thing he needs to learn to start with – he says that the EU is the single most important source of funding, support and assistance that Ireland has?  No, no, no, NO.  It's the other way around.  Ireland is one of most important sources of funding, support and assistance that the EU has, with strong emphasis on the funding.

It is the greatest honour of my life to have been elected to Dáil Éireann by the people of Wicklow-East Carlow in February 2011. Since then, I have sought to represent their views, thoughts, concerns and hopes to the very best of my ability. I will continue to do so. I am a proud Wicklow man and will continue to travel tirelessly across our county over the coming weeks to meet as many people as possible and to hear their stories. I will be asking the people of Wicklow to place their trust in me for a second time this May and to send a local MEP to Europe to work on their behalf.

Hold on there a minute, Sunshine!  You never represented my views, thoughts or concerns.  Not one of 'em.  You continued to roll over as the EU flooded us with petty rules and regulations, which makes me wonder if you can't control them in your home turf, how the fuck are you going to control 'em when you are swamped in the cesspits of Brussels?

And you never called to my little corner of Wicklow.  I know because I would see the blood stains on the front driveway.

Enthusiastic naivety or a devious grasping cunt?

I'll let you have the vote.

How long have you got?

Posted on by
10

I see Big Nanny has another nice little weapon in its ever growing arsenal?

"Researchers1" claim to have found a blood test that can predict whether a person is going to die soon.

Now I can't honestly see people queuing in their hoards to take this test.  Do we really want to know when we are to topple off our perches?  Personally I would like to leave that in the realms of the Great Unknown, along with such matters as where all those wire coathangers come from and where all odd socks disappear to or why all politicians aren't aborted at birth..

I can however see Big Nanny taking a great interest.

Wouldn't it be great if they could test someone before a major operation?  The test proves negative so they cancel the operation an just leave the person to die? 

How soon before employers see the benefits?  There's no point in employing someone and training them if they are going to croak within five years?

As for the insurance companies – they will have a field day. 

The list of possible uses is quite extensive and not one will benefit the victim, that I can see.

I can however see the day when some bloke gets his test results that say he has a good twenty years ahead of him.

He rushes out of the clinic in jubilation and gets run over by a 56 bus.

1. Researcher = someone with too much time and too much taxpayers money on their hands

On being hexed

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10

I know you are all gagging for further news on the swimming pool in my car?

I know the papers and television are full of it [they reckon it has something to do with a leak in the office of the Police Ombudsman, but I had a feeling they were on the wrong track].

So in order to prevent any further loss of sleep and chewing of fingernails, I have a sequel to my little brainfart on Monday.

You lot had a load of very helpful suggestions [and some not so helpful] but I am surprised no one mentioned the classic method of finding a leak in a car – put the fucking thing trough a car wash!

I removed all the panels that were easily removable [i.e. none] and the parcel shelf.  I didn't bother removing the floor from the boot as it isn't there anyway.  It's still drying out in the bathroom.  Then I nipped over to Skobieville and put the car through the toughest wash they had.

It worked!

For those who have stuck out with the saga to date, the leak seemed to come from the rear nearside light cluster.

Once I got home I attacked the car with screwdrivers, mole wrenches and a hammer.  I removed about half a dozen screws before discovering I only needed to remove two.  Then came my next problem… a key screw was one of those fucking hex-headed monstrosities that they use to try to stop us fiddling with things.

I knew I had a tin full of the special yokes somewhere – a tin bull of little bits that plug into the end of a special screwdriver.  I don't have the special screwdriver and I don't know where the tin came from, but that's beside the point.  My problem now was which tin!  The garage is full of the fucking things, containing rusty nuts, screws, bolts, nails and other weird stuff that is unidentifiable but might come in handy some day.

I  found the right tin at last and removed the last screw [with the help of a dose of WD40 and a mole wrench].

There was the leak!

There was a hard cup-shaped washer that had a soft washer inside, and the soft washer had compressed leaving the hard washer to try to waterproof the joint.  I bunged a wodge of packing under the soft washer and reassembled everything [apart from the floor which is still dripping wet].

No bits left over and the car looks as good as new.  The lights even work, which is strange.

Now all I have to do is wait for it to rain.

I won't have a long wait in this godforsaken country.

Being needled by Big Pharma

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12

I would love to know just how much Big Pharma makes each year out of the Great Flu Scam.

Every year we see the same old crap about how we have to be vaccinated against the Flu virus.

Now I'm no microbiologist, and I don't claim to know anything about viruses and their ilk, but I have heard somewhere that the Influenza Virus is a canny little bastard.  It has a very high rate of evolution so that as soon as it encounters a vaccine, it mutates into something that vaccine won't affect.  Correct me if I'm wrong?  Add to that the fact that it takes years to develop a vaccine and you can see the problem – the batch of vaccinations being passed around are already a couple of years out of date and are more than likely useless.

i chanced across a headline today which is not only typical of the meeja but is also like a handout for Big Pharma -

Flu deaths double as high-risk groups warned to get vaccine

So deaths have doubled?  Really?  Read the small print and you will find that five people died one week where only two died the previous week.  So this minute fluctuation warrants a scary headline?  If no one died the following week would we see banner headlines proclaiming the Influenza Virus has been eradicated?  My arse, we would.

Of course this is the kind of bollox statistic so beloved of Big Pharma -  take just two figures and make a scare out of them.  It's not even a statistic, just two samples which mean absolutely zilch in the grand scheme of things.  Mind you, the pogrom against smokers and Warble Gloaming are based on similar statistical methods so I shouldn't be too surprised?

Doc has never suggested that I get vaccinated, though technically I could be classed as "high risk".  I asked him once why he never offered and he just shrugged and said that the chances were that the vaccine would do me more damage than the flu.

Incidentally, I didn't mention it before, but I have had a bit of a dose of the old bug myself over the last couple of weeks.  It was the usual shite – aches all over, blowing hot and cold, sneezing and coughing, but little that an aspirin or a healthy glass of whiskey wouldn't fix.  I didn't mention it simply because it wasn't worth mentioning.   

I wasn't vaccinated and I didn't die.  I didn't even bother taking to the bed.

Fuck you, Big Pharma.  Better luck next time.