Ordering a Long Wait

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11

I know you have all been sitting on the edges of your seats.

You are all dying to know the outcome of my wait that I had on Monday?

In the end, my wait lasted until Thursday.

Last week I ordered a skip [or "dumpster" as you ignorant Merkans call it].  I ordered it on line and everything went smoothly.  I gave the site all my details and it happily chewed them up, but then it stopped.  I never got to that final "Thank you for your order" shit that most sites throw up.

I phoned the company and got talking to a nice chatty Young Thing, who probably looked like the rear view of a rhinoceros, but she sounded nice.  I told her what had happened and she cheerfully announced that yes, my order had gone through and my skip was to be delivered on Monday in the PM [the website gave an option of AM or PM - they obviously like to be exact].

You know what happened on Monday.  No fucking delivery.

I phoned them again on Tuesday morning. They happily announced that there was no record of my order on the system.  I explained as patiently as I could [I can show remarkable restraint at times] that I had confirmed the order the previous week, and could she check again.  She did and cheerfully announced that she had found the order but it had been canceled for some reason she couldn't explain.  I cheerfully made some suggestions that involved computers and anal orifices.

To cut a long story short, I placed another order and the skip duly arrived yesterday very promptly in the PM.

My general intention is to clear out the garage which has been accumulating rubbish and junk for the last fifteen or so years.  It had reached the stage where there was only a narrow passageway to the door into the house, and apart from wanting to clear the place a bit, there is talk of installing a central heating boiler in the corner.  I am led to believe that it is quite a difficult job to install a boiler under about five feet of festering rubbish?

I made a great start last evening.  By the time I shut down operations, the skip was already a quarter full and the garage looked like a bomb had hit it.  I could even see new areas of floor that hadn't seen daylight in decades.  A good days work.

This morning, the skip was full.  However, having duly returned three double mattresses, four sacks of disgusting underwear, an old black and white television, a rotting dog kennel and a Fiat Punto to their rightful owners, the skip is now only a quarter full again.

Time for some work…….

A molecule of desperation

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12

I came across a little article today which cheered me up immensely.

They have done a "study" into third hand smoke.

Naturally they have discovered that it is the most lethal stuff imaginable and causes more deaths than the Hiroshima bomb.

When you are setting out to find something that you have already convinced yourself is there, then it is a simple enough process to find it.  These "scientists" did so by rolling out a gas chromatograph which, by my understanding of these matters is an extremely sensitive machine and is generally used to search for specific elements.  For example, you don't ask the device to itemise the colours in a photograph, you ask it if the colour green is present.  So these "scientists" set out to specifically search for certain compounds, and of course they found them.  I lay very heavy odds that if they set out top find Plutonium in my sitting room that they would find a molecule or two?

So having proved their preconceived notions they announce that people's home are full of deadly chemicals which they attribute to "third hand smoke".  What I would like to know is how they know that tobacco smoking caused those elements to be present.  I know for a fact that my home is brim-full of highly toxic materials, from radioactive gas, through lead, up to arsenic and beyond.  How do I know?  Because if you look hard enough, you'll find these things everywhere – in the air we breath, in the soil we grow our food in and on every surface we touch.  The world is full of toxins caused by pollution, chemicals, nuclear tests and by the earth itself.

I have a suggestion and a question for these so called "experts".

My question is the old one I have asked so many times in the past and yet no one has answered – if the residue from smoking is so damned dangerous how come people who lived in the last century are still alive?  Smoking was rampant, so called second hand smoke was everywhere and the residue must have lain thick on every surface, so according to all these recent "studies" we should all be dead by now from cancer and heart attacks?  Yet those generations are living longer than any previous generations?

My suggestion is that before they start involving themselves in the myth of third hand smoke, that they try and prove there is any danger in second hand smoke.  This is something they have singularly failed to do, relying of cherry-picked statistics which to date have suggested that second hand smoke is less carcinogenic than tap water.

They really are getting desperate.

 

 

Smoke and mirrors

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11

A simple question has been bugging me for a while.

Why does the Bully State exist?

I can understand their anti-smoker thing because there is a logical reason for it.  That's there because Big Pharma demands it.  Big Pharma employs a lot of people here in Ireland so it is logical to assume that they will use that to threaten a gubmint – find ways of pushing our [useless] gum and patches or we cut back on investment.  Also they fund directly or indirectly the Anti Smoker organisations such as ASH or the Irish Cancer Society so it is only natural that those organisations will also act as Big Pharma salesmen.

But I am at a loss when it comes to the other items on the agenda.

Why does the Nanny State worry about our weight or our fitness, or even our health in general?  I can see no logical reason.  We know they don't give a shite about us as individuals as we are merely productive units as far as they are concerned.  Could that be the reason?  They want us to stay healthy so we can carry on paying taxes?  I find that hard to believe because they will rob us blind whether we are at work or not, or whether we are healthy or sick.  The only way to [legally] avoid paying taxes is to die, and even then they screw your descendants for inheritance tax or various other death duties.

One of the reasons they trot out is the "burden on the health service".  That is a load of bollox.  The figures they quote for any individual "cost" are just makey-uppy so why should they worry about them?  It's the other way around – they make up those figures as an excuse for their bullying.

Are they worried about their league tables?  We are being constantly nagged that we are the worst drinkers in Europe or some such nonsensical factoid.  Who gives a shit?  If Ireland were the most obese nation on earth, would I care?  would anyone care?  I don't think so.

For once I don't blame Big Pharma as they have little to gain.  There are no effective weight-loss medications.  Big Pharma doesn't produce an anti-sugar or anti-fat pill so they have no financial interest.

Or maybe that's it?

The Bully State is just there to depress us?

I know sales of Valium, Prozac and their like have gone through the roof in the last few years.

It's all a fucking conspiracy.

Scraping the barrel

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17

I just had a quick look to see if there was anything remotely worthwhile on television tonight.

I discovered that the programmers have not only reached the bottom of the barrel but have scraped their way through and are well on their way to the Earth's core. 

I swear they were challenged to come up with the most tedious, boring, mind numbingly ghastly subject and tonight they are broadcasting the winners.

Runners up are RTE with their documentary "Garth Brooks: Tomorrow Never Came"

This is described as "Following the trail of events of the American country singer's comeback tour, which was announced in January but was cancelled after Dublin City Council only granted event licenses for three of the five intended performances at Croke Park throughout July."

Sweet suffering fuck!!

But the winner has to be TV3 who are coming up with their offering as a direct challenge to RTE on the same evening……

A documentary called "Garth Brooks: What Went Wrong?".

This piece of mental vacuum is described as a "Documentary about the recent cancellation of American singer Garth Brooks' tour in Dublin, which let down thousands of fans and thrust the country into the media spotlight. With interviews from the Croke Park residents, Aiken Promotions and Dublin City Council."

I really am speechless.

I'm off to the pub.

 

Waiting

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10

I hate waiting.

It's bad enough when someone says they'll "be there at three" or whatever and there is still no sign of them by five, but it's a hell of a lot worse when there is no given time.

"What time would you like us to deliver?  AM or PM?" they asked.

"PM" says I as AM is fast asleep time.

But that's it.  Fucking PM.  And PM stretches technically from midday to midnight so I haven't a fucking clue when they are delivering.

I have been sitting waiting patiently.  Still no word.  I have to get some stuff from the village but I can't because I have to be here when they arrive.  My presence is an imperative, and I just know if I nip out for a couple of minutes they'll come and make a fucking bollox of the delivery.

I could have gone to the village and back thirty times in the time I have been waiting but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are parked just down the road, waiting for me to go out whereupon they will deliver and make a right shite of it.

I'm still waiting.

I fucking hate waiting.