Smoking Drunks and Couch Potatoes

They are fond of doing surveys here in Ireland to discover how “healthy” we all are.

They did one a while ago and for some reason that eludes me, they called it Wave 1.  Now they have produced another report which is called – you’ll never guess – Wave 2.

Presumably the idea is to discover whether we are behaving ourselves and improving our lifestyles in accordance with the diktat of Public Health?  Apparently things aren’t going too well?

While 90% of respondents know that alcohol is a risk factor for liver disease, only 27% of women are aware of the increased risk of developing breast cancer as a result of heavy drinking”  Fuck me but they’re obsessed with risk! Is that all they ever think about?  It’s no wonder they’re a miserable shower of cunts.

Obesity levelling out but 60% of people still overweight.”  Overweight by whose standards?  And if “obesity” is levelling out then there is no need to worry about taxes on suger?  Yeah!  Right!

84% of people living in Ireland say their health is very good or good although 28% indicate that they have a long-standing illness or health condition“.  In other words, 12% have a long standing condition but are healthy.  Either the questioning was flawed or some people just aren’t obsessed with their health.

37% of drinkers indicate that they drink six or more standard drinks (“binge drinking”) on a typical drinking occasion“.  There are two ways to alleviate this non-problem.  Firstly, stop using the term “binge drinking” – it’s a term concocted by Public Health to try to put us on a guilt trip.  Secondly stop using this arbitrary limit on the amount we “should” drink.  It’s a load of bollox.

I notice in Wave 1 they say that “fewer than 1 in 5 people now smoke“.  So I would assume a figure of 19%?  However in Wave 2 they say that “23% of the population are current smokers“.  Woops?  That’s a bit of a jump up the ladder, isn’t it?  [*snigger*]

While 19% of people living in Ireland smoke on a daily basis, recruitment of new smokers continues at a high rate with 20% of those aged under 25 currently smoking“.  Hold on now….  they just said 23% are current smokers and now they’re saying 19%?  Or do they mean that the 23% smoke currents [or raisins or even sultanas]?  I’m getting confused.  As for the yoof sparking up, well that’s what they get for making smoking an act of rebellion.

18% of the population in Ireland is exposed to second-hand smoke on a daily basis”  Er… “exposed”?  What precisely does that mean?  They walked past someone in the street who was smoking?  And what does it matter anyway as it’s completely harmless.  I might as well say I was “exposed” to a lorry or a tree recently.

17% did not use any form of contraception outside of a steady relationship”  So fucking what? 

Almost half the population is in a social club or organisation“.  What the fuck?  I’m a member of a Credit Union.  Does that count?

Approximately half of the people living in Ireland have had some experience of people with mental health issues”  Only half?  Surely nearly everyone has seen them on television, if not in the flesh? 

They’re called politicians.

 

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Comments

Smoking Drunks and Couch Potatoes — 5 Comments

  1. Approximately half of the people living in Ireland have had some experience of people with mental health issues”  Only half?  Surely nearly everyone has seen them on television, if not in the flesh? They’re called politicians.

    Nice one – may I quote you if the opportunity arises?

  2. More than 10,000 households were randomly selected for the nationwide survey which is designed to provide vital data on the state of the nation’s health. Over 7,500 people aged 15 years and over participated in both waves of the survey.

    So in 10,001 plus households only 7500 people participated. Does this mean the dickheads sent survey forms to 2501 empty houses or does it mean 2501 people plus told them to fuck off or ignored their survey?

    We need to know…

    While 19% of people living in Ireland smoke on a daily basis, recruitment of new smokers continues at a high rate with 20% of those aged under 25 currently smoking 67% of men and 39% of women aged under 25 binge drink on a typical drinking occasion

    See what they did there very sneaky. Made it appear there is a direct link between smoking and binge drinking. One would think there is some sort of agenda in play.

    Over nine in ten smokers and a similar proportion of drinkers have at least one other unhealthy behaviour.

    So 9.1 smokers and drinkers have at least one unhealthy behaviour as defined by the morons who devised this survey. Where is Les Dennis when you need him?

    Those living in Dublin report lower scores on the Mental Health Index-5 (MHI-5) scale than those living elsewhere (79.8 and 85.2 respectively). This suggests higher levels of psychological distress in Dublin

    Surprised they didn’t link this to the evil twins of smoking and binge drinking!

    No idea what the population in Ireland is but this number of respondents seems very small.

    Just take a butchers at the vacant faces in the piccies at the bottom of the page grandad links to.

  3. Oh dear.  On the page in the little round “diagram” bit, they state that 11% of non-smokers are exposed to ETS on a daily basis, but in the blurb underneath they say that 18% of the population are so exposed.  Presumably, then, that second figure must include the 11% of non-smokers plus an extra 7% who must by definition therefore be smokers.  Which begs the question as to how the remaining 12% (or 16%, depending on which “smokers” figure you believe) are managing to smoke, but nevertheless still not be exposed to ETS.  Quite a clever trick, I’d say.  Perhaps they are smokers who only smoke outside, but take care to blow all their exhaled smoke through the letterboxes of their non-smoking neighbours’ houses …

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