I used to hate Halloween.

In particular I hated the mindless and constant banging of bangers.  As fireworks go, they are the least impressive.  They go bang and that’s that.  Big fucking deal.

In the past I had a particular hatred for bangers as our Sandy [a Rough Collie] was terrified by them.  If one went off even miles away she would tear into a cupboard and sit quivering in the corner, so I would have to sit with her for the week preceding Halloween.  Fortunately Penny doesn’t give a shit about them and would probably stay sleeping if I shoved a banger up her arse [not that I would dream of doing such a thing].

But then I had a change of heart.

It’s all about perspective.  Bangers may have irritated me in the past but now I say bring ’em on.

You see, bangers, fireworks and even bonfires are illegal in this country.  Yet another little series of Nanny State laws to protect the cheeeldren from themselves, and the only fireworks allowed are those that are strictly controlled and confined to carefully orchestrated displays.  Can’t let the wee kiddies get harmed, can we?

I now look on bonfires, fireworks and even bangers as a nice little rebellion against Nanny.  They are a very public and very visible gesture of two fingers to those who suppose they know better.  Every bang is another Fuck You.  Every rocket celebrates another moment of anarchy. 

When I was a kid I used to mess around with fireworks.  Before long I graduated to making my own, which got bigger and bigger.  Next came the pipe bombs which were spectacular, and at one stage caused a security alert after one of my pipe bombs went off in a culvert, that caused the police and army to come and investigate.  I toned things down a bit after that, but I never got hurt because I took precautions.  I made damn sure I was far enough away when the damn thing went off.  I learned a lot so it was just a bit of further education.

Of course we are going to hear about some kid who lost a finger or two.  We are going to hear about someone who got badly burned.  We are going to hear all about the isolated instances where some kid was daft enough to do something really stupid and got hurt as a result.

So let the rebellion continue.  Bring on the rockets, the bangers and the earthquake bombs.  Each one is an act of defiance and a Fuck You to Nanny.

And as for Elf and Safety – we have to give Darwin a chance?


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Going with a bang — 8 Comments

  1. I remember as a young teenager nicking my parents soda syphon gas cannisters and taking them to school. Would wedge them in doors in the boys loos and leave a lighter burning under them. When they went off it was like the yanks flying B52 missions, shrapnel everywhere. Cringe when I think of it now, dangerous as hell, feckin idiot!!

    As an aside, were’nt soda syphons just the biz in the 70s, high tech and all that! 🙂

    • Why didn’t I think of that?  Damn! 

      There were the old soda syphons – glass bottles with a little lever at the top [a splash of tonic in your gin, sir?] and then there were those yokes that came out in the 70s – the Soda Stream where you fizzed up a bottle of water and then added a flavour.  Those canisters were quite big and would have made lovely little bombs.  I don’t think they sell them any more though.  Alas alack.

  2. Thank you for reading MY blog. I’d like you to know I read every post you make. I find them very funny. Love them. But I have a complaint. I can let people know on many blogs I follow, that I “like” what I read, by simply clicking “like”. Then they know I read it and am keeping an interest. You have no “like” button. So, in the future, I shall type in “like” as my comment.  Thanks for your amazing blogging record – a post a day!  That’s really something.

    • I have been a constant visitor to your place for a long time.  See the “Other Links Latest” over on my sidebar?  I am, I confess, crap at leaving comments though, not just on your site but on every site [other site owners, please note?].

      I had a “like” button of sorts for a short while but I scrapped it in the last round of site-trimming.  Anyway Herself said it made me look desperate, which was great coming from someone who is desperate for “likes” on her Farcebook page!

      • “Like” 


        Oh no – I think “like” is simply an affirmation that you paid attention. A quick way of letting someone know you called.


        This post might appear twice as I erroneously? replied to the email notification – sorry.

  3. Once upon a time I let off a cherry bomb inside a metal garbage can and made myself scarce. It sounded like all hell broke loose. It was fun watching the police swarm in, searching all over the place and finding nothing.

    These days I prefer a 40MM grenade launcher but I can’t get my local guns and ammo store to sell me one. Can’t for the life of me think why.

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