This web site thing has me tearing my hair out.

I mentioned the other day that I had a bit of a fire in the engine room, and being aware that some of you may panic and have a heart attack, I played down the situation a bit.  I mentioned a fire, but didn't mention that it was a fucking raging inferno that wreaked havoc throughout the entire basement area, wiping out the engine room, the power generators and the little store room where I keep my little collection of geological samples [my sedimentary rocks are now igneous rocks].

Computer on fire

I sealed off the rooms where the fire raged and did the best I could with some string, some WD40 and a load of chewing gum and managed to patch enough together enough to keep the site running.

It was apparently caused when I made a tiny adjustment to a little plug-in thingy that was in a back room.  The fucking thing burst into flames and then changed the security code on the door so I couldn't get in.  That has never happened before.

Anyhows, I built a brand new site beside the old one.  I did it from memory so it wasn't easy.  To add to my difficulties I accidently used centimeters instead of inches and when I realised my mistake [it looked all weird and small] I had to start all over again. 

I congratulated myself yesterday when I finished it off.  I don't think anyone noticed any differences?

There are differences though.  I left a whole load of crap to burn on the old site so the engine room has a lot more space in it.  I have also done a major job of tweaking and adjusting so that the site runs a lot faster [I ran it through WebPageTest and got fours As and a B which isn't too bad?]. 

The strange thing is that all the public areas are apparently running like the clappers, but things are even more at a snail's page in the engine room.  It takes ages to load any of the admin pages, and a lot of the admin thingies have stopped working altogether.  I'm still working on those.

I have however completely replaced the power generators on the advice of The Foggy Mirror.

I'll let my engineer explain how it works as he knows how to cut through all that technical jargon.

And now my laptop has gone and broken itself, so I have to redo that from scratch.

What did I do to deserve all this?


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A very moving experience — 14 Comments

  1. Two gentlemen where laying on beach in the Caribbean. The first says he was able to afford the vacation because of an insurance payout when his business had a fire. The second mentioned he too was able to afford his vacation due an insurance payout from his business being destroyed by a flood. After a few minutes the first gentleman lean over and quietly ask the second man, "how do you start a flood?"

    • There were  load of rumours going around during the recession of shops here in Ireland holding Pre-Fire Sales…

  2. well if you ask the nannies I'm sure the whole kerfluffle is caused somehow by smoking and drinking.

    or eating meat, or some other twaddle

    • I wouldn't ask the nannies the time of day [they'd only lie anyway].  It did occur to me that it might have been some pipe residue, but in fact it's quite hard for a pipe to start a blaze.

  3. Maybe look at your site like a garden. It takes quite a lot of time to cultivate and prune. Even with fresh tilled soil, it still takes a while for the plants to grow back. You'll get everything ship shape in no time, Granddad!

    • Hah!  The site is more like a field after a week long rock festival.  It really is pissing me off though, as all the tests say it's going like a rocket, but it still takes an age to do something simple like update a page.  So you lot are reaping the benefits and I'm not.  [*sulk*]

  4. Grandad,

    Thanks. Appreciate the link but I though I’d point out that, either by design, an old person error which I can definitely relate to, or possibly another engine room problem, your link just sends the clicker to the latest post and not, as I was expecting, the post featuring your Chief Engineer.

    This may cause some clickers to wonder what the clickee was linking to via the clicketer.

    • I woz just sending some link-lurve, so I suppose you could say it was by design?  Anyhows, I have changed the link, just to confuse anyone who tries clicking it for a second time.  😈

  5. Grandad,

    Okay, and thanks again.

    Changed the link? Why not? It’s good to confuse visitors once in a while; it keeps ‘em on their toes.

    Just thought I’d mention it in view of your recent engine room problems; I’ll now get back in my box.

  6. Whenever my ignition doesn't work I put the car into gear, give it a good push and a kick on the rear fender. The engine farts into life immediately. No scientific explanation needed.

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