Weighing up the risks

England's chief medical officer has given me [fat free, non-carcinogenic, unsweetened] food for thought.

The other day she stated [and I quote]

"I would like people to make their choice knowing the issues and do as I do when I reach for my glass of wine and think, 'Do I want my glass of wine or do I want to raise my risk of breast cancer?'. And I take a decision each time I have a glass."

Dammit but she's right.  We do need to weigh up the risks before doing everything.

I made myself a mug of tea a few minutes ago, but with hindsight I realise what terrible risks I took.  First of all I boiled the kettle, and with a few seconds thought I realise just how close I came to a shocking death.  Water and mains electricity in the same device?  I really am lucky to be alive!  And then there was the matter of the sugar?  Am I prepared to knock 120 years off my lifespan and inflate to the size of a blimp because of that teaspoon full of death?

I'm sitting here with the laptop on my [yes – you guessed it] lap.  But I have heard all these terrible stories in the tabloids about laptop batteries exploding so do I really want to run the risk of blowing my bollox off?  I had better stick the laptop on the table.  Can't be too careful?

Now I need a piss.  Fuck but that's a risky business!  Can I make it to the bathroom without tripping over something and whacking my head off the corner of the table?  Would the sudden movement out of my chair cause a surge in blood pressure resulting in a heart attack?  On second thoughts, I had better just let flow where I am in my armchair.  Can't be too careful?

But sitting in my chair poses enormous risks too.  I know all about deep vein thrombosis and the terrible damage it can cause.  I somehow have to balance the risks of DVT with the risks of walking around a house that is full of hidden potential life threatening accidents?  Maybe I should just sit here in a puddle of warm piss and jiggle my legs a bit?

I really need to relax a bit and stop worrying about all these potential dangers.  Time for a peaceful pipe.

But hold on!  They tell me that every puff of tobacco knocks around twenty years off my life and I will die a horrible screaming and painful death!  Do I want to run that risk?  But then if I don't relax I'm back to that heart attack thing, and I don't really fancy having my heart explode.  I think I'll chance a couple of puffs on the pipe though, as according to the medical experts and their calculations, I died around ninety seven years ago, and you can only die once? 

Dame Sally is right.  Life is full of dangers and everything we do must take those dangers into account.

Incidentally, why do they call her a Dame?

Is this all a pantomime?

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Weighing up the risks — 7 Comments

  1. They call her Dame because she was awarded the "Dame Commander of the British Empire" in 2008.

    Her Wiki page makes it perfectly clear she hasn't a clue about front line medicine – and she's not terribly bright either as she failed her 11 plus. But her family has clout aplenty and that's the principle reason why she's got to where she is today. Essentially spouting rot she's been fed by others.


    Davis was not a natural successor to Sir Liam Donaldson. He was born in 1949 and chose to retire in 2010, so was 61 at that time.

    Davis was asked to stand in for a period – and then asked to stay on. Davis was born in 1949, so she'll be hitting 67 this year. In short it was convenient for her to hang around for a while because that'll beef up her pension. However she seems to revel in controversy and I suspect enjoys all the trappings that come with the job, so there she is picking up £244,441 a year and blocking the careers of others in so doing.


    I do however believe the Civil Service has a cut off with pensions. It grows until age 65 then stays there with only cost of living hikes included. It's a 60% job, so even when she does retire she'll be picking up well in excess of £145,000 a year.

    By comparison good old Cameron, who should be the highest paid civil servant, has to raise 3 sproggs and work fairly serious hours for £142,000.

    Little wonder Dame sally doth take the piss; at that kind of money and simply being in the right place at the right time it is true that you can indeed polish a turd.

    • Jayzus but I thought our lot were bad.  A quarter of a mil for clawing your way to the top and spouting a load of ridiculous bollox?  Our Dame Enda is "leading" this country with exactly the same qualifications and is earning a mere 185k, though in fairness to him he is worth a tenth of that.

      This honours system amuses me.  I see Van Morrison has been knighted and is now Sir Van.  Doesn't quite sound right somehow?

  2. Dame in her case Dreary And Massively Egocentric.
    I considered setting up a petition to have her removed from her role following the mis-information she spewed out about the new alcohol “limits”, but she would no doubt get an early pay off on top of the pension! She can stay in post and spout more rubbish whilst I enjoy watching her get ridiculed instead.

  3. I have just read todays Frank Davis post, where there is a link to a petition to Sack the Chief Medical Officer Dame Sally Davies. Great Stuff!

    • Unfortunately, the bastards look after their own so a petition [even with 50 million signatures] is unlikely to have any effect.

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