Well, actually it's more about cows than birds, and I'm not sure if you can ruffle a cow?
I gather [and this is just a personal impression as I have been paying no attention whatsoever to proceedings] that he isn't playing ball over all this climate change shit. His argument is that Ireland is an agricultural country that produces a moxey load of milk and beef, and that somewhere within that process we have to involve cows. It seems like a reasonable argument to me?
Did you notice something there folks? For a very brief moment I am almost in agreement with Dame Enda which has to be a first? Don't worry – it won't last.
Anyhows, back to the cows.
We produce a lot of emissions here on the Emerald Isle, but then so does every country on the planet. Unlike a lot of countries however, a significant proportion of our emissions result from cows belching and farting. We are up there near the top of the Global Farting Champions League. Dame Enda makes no apology for this and says that if we cut down on the cows, we have to cut down on beef and dairy production which are two of our biggest earners.
Of course the Greens and their stone age allies are hopping mad at this. We should be cutting our emissions to less than zero, they cry. This time tomorrow we will all be under 500 feet of sea, they wail. We are doooomed, they moan. Warble Gloaming is coming tomorrow, they sob. One of them even came up with the brilliant idea of dumping all our cattle and growing trees instead. Has he ever tried eating a fucking tree? I doubt it but I wish he would. Personally I have a much more practical suggestion – just ram rubber hoses up all the cows' arses and power our electricity generators from that. Kill two birds with one stone as it were [damn! I’m back onto birds again].
I can just see the way this is going to pan out. Dame Enda won't get his exemptions as he has to do what he's told by Brussels. They will slam completely unrealistic emissions targets on Ireland. We will exceed those targets by a mile and will be fined silly amounts of money.
And where will that money come from?
You've guessed it.
Me and my taxes.
Why the fuck is it that virtually everything the gubmint does ends up costing me more taxes?