Roast spruce and potatoes

Our Dame Enda has apparently been ruffling a few feathers.

Well, actually it's more about cows than birds, and I'm not sure if you can ruffle a cow?

I gather [and this is just a personal impression as I have been paying no attention whatsoever to proceedings] that he isn't playing ball over all this climate change shit.  His argument is that Ireland is an agricultural country that produces a moxey load of milk and beef, and that somewhere within that process we have to involve cows.  It seems like a reasonable argument to me? 

Did you notice something there folks?  For a very brief moment I am almost in agreement with Dame Enda which has to be a first?  Don't worry – it won't last.

Anyhows, back to the cows.

We produce a lot of emissions here on the Emerald Isle, but then so does every country on the planet.  Unlike a lot of countries however, a significant proportion of our emissions result from cows belching and farting.  We are up there near the top of the Global Farting Champions League.  Dame Enda makes no apology for this and says that if we cut down on the cows, we have to cut down on beef and dairy production which are two of our biggest earners. 

Of course the Greens and their stone age allies are hopping mad at this.  We should be cutting our emissions to less than zero, they cry.  This time tomorrow we will all be under 500 feet of sea, they wail.  We are doooomed, they moan.  Warble Gloaming is coming tomorrow, they sob.  One of them even came up with the brilliant idea of dumping all our cattle and growing trees instead.  Has he ever tried eating a fucking tree?  I doubt it but I wish he would.  Personally I have a much more practical suggestion – just ram rubber hoses up all the cows' arses and power our electricity generators from that.  Kill two birds with one stone as it were [damn!  I’m back onto birds again].

I can just see the way this is going to pan out.  Dame Enda won't get his exemptions as he has to do what he's told by Brussels.  They will slam completely unrealistic emissions targets on Ireland.  We will exceed those targets by a mile and will be fined silly amounts of money.

And where will that money come from?

You've guessed it.

Me and my taxes.

Why the fuck is it that virtually everything the gubmint does ends up costing me more taxes?

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Comments

Roast spruce and potatoes — 10 Comments

  1. bovine diapers with tubes attached, capture the gas, pipe it to parliament to heat the politicians. how green would that be with the added plus of making the place more aromatic

  2. “One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”
    ― Carl Sagan

    This will keep going and going and going they have been on the offensive the last week or two on tv iv noticed always how we will lose 75% of all animals everywhere in 100 years so no one needs be responsible for their lies ….we are all punished because the mouth breathing idiots can vote and they need to feeeeeeeeeeel like they are helping the polar bears and if the media and scientists say it from their pulpits it must be correct ! its quite masterful on behalf of the religious zealots pushing this voluntary economic suicide for blessed giga but then followers have always been paying for their church and forcing others to do so or convert. 

  3. By 2030 turf from Irish bogs will no longer be for sale and presumably turf as a combustible commodity will be banned. That leaves a lot of spare bogland, including bogland which already has been fully harvested. If we were the Dutch or the Chinese we would be planning to colonise the empty bogs – with people and with factories. In a previous post I suggested that Ireland collects and makes use of the cow dung being expelled from the millions of cattle (and sheep and horses) around the countryside. Giant methane digesters could be built on the Bog of Allen and elsewhere and the raw animal waste used for the generating of methane gas. Like the Dutch we could also organise the establishment of glass houses and polytunnels for production of vegetables and flours. We have got to mix protection of the environment with practical production of food and power.

    • With all due respect Ger, that sounds like a lot of commonsense and practicality.  We generally don't encourage those around here.

      • But we do always encourage you, Grandad, for your commonsense and practicality, and your robust analysis of humbug. BTW I should have spelled the word 'flowers' above, although if Bord na Mona wants to build methane-powered flour mills on the Bog of Allen I won't flatuently object.

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