Adults and children should be instructed by the Government to halve the amount of sugar they consume and eat almost twice as much pasta, potato and other fibrous foods, an official report is expected to say this week.

I don't know about you but as an adult no fucking gubmint is going to instruct me to do anything.

They can advise me all they like and I shall take their advice and shove it in the bin where it belongs, but the very concept of a gubmint telling me what I can and cannot eat is frankly so hilarious that it's up there with the Monty Python sketches.

So there is an epidemic of obesity and tooth decay?  Apart from the fact that neither obesity nor tooth decay is infectious my response is so fucking what?  What fucking business is it of the gubmint if I have to order my bed from a firm of steel fabricators instead of a furniture shop?  Why should they care if I haven't a tooth left in my head? 

They whinge on about obesity "costing the health service" which is quite frankly their own fault.  If they stopped nagging people about being overweight then people would be comfortable with their own bodies and wouldn't be rushing to seek medical attention.  And they can hardly complain that tooth decay is costing anyone anything as people presumably wouldn't have tooth decay if they were regular patrons of their local Dr Mengele in the dental surgery?

OK, so being a tad on the gargantuan side can lead to heart attacks and diabetes.  I'll grant you that, but all they have to do is tell that to the porkers and leave it up to them whether they want to live happily and go out in a blaze of glory, or live miserably in the hopes of an extra year or two.

Its analysis, which will also be published later this week, found space for just four squares of dark chocolate, two chocolate biscuits and a small packet of crisps as "treats" allowed during a normal week.

Oh sweet fuck! [*wipes tear of laughter from eye*]

So the poor drones are to be allowed a "treat" once a week.  How wonderfully fucking magnanimous!  Having tortured the drones by instructing them to eat nothing but raw vegetables and drink unsweetened [herbal?] tea they then allow one treat per week.  Why do I get the mental picture of prisoners being granted privileges for good behaviour?

I presume this is all a grand excuse to mug people for more tax.  There is nothing like dreaming up some idea "for the public good" and then fleecing them for extra money.  

What saddens me though is that the drones in their hundreds of thousands are going to lap this crap up [unsweetened of course] and forsake their favourite foods for a diet that would barely sustain a rabbit.

When are people going to realise that they only have one shot at life.  This is it, folks.  This is the only life you are going to get.  For fuck's sake get out there and enjoy it and ignore those mean-spirited sad humourless nannies.

Don't forget – Healthy brownie points are worthless in the afterlife.


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How sweet of them to care — 27 Comments

  1. Cue one of my favourite quotes, this from Kingsley Amis:

    “No pleasure is worth giving up for the sake of two more years in a geriatric home at Weston-super-Mare”

    Which just about sums it up in a few short words.

    The hubris of the people handing down these diktats (and there seems to be a constant flow of them these days) is really quite breathtaking.

    • We have already had "no safe level of tobacco" and "no safe level of alcohol".  How long before "no safe level of salt", "no safe level of fat" and "no safe level of sugar"?  Days?  Weeks?  Anyone taking bets?

  2. The wording they are useing now is quite alarming "instruct" me ? fuck off im a 30 year old man ill do and eat what ever the hell i want and shall do so right up till one of these nannies puts a bullet in my head for bad think / eatting 


      • Naw think ill be my own state an individual i believe that are called with my own mind a bold concept to some it seems ! 

        Want some Pringles ? 


            The potato is a member of the 'nightshade family' of plants but so incidentally is tobacco, tomato, & peppers as well to name but a few.  Like tobacco, each member of the nightshade family contains nicotine in it's natural form as nature intended. So if we have to double the amount of potatoes we take, can we smoke them?

    • Qangos within qangos.  A load of people trying to justify their existence by "advising".  They don't say who they are advising but it can only be the gubmint, so my suggestion to them is that they fuck off and try and get a proper job, though they'll find the real world a little difficult to cope with.

  3. Can't believe the nerve of these people, not many of them a picture of health! looks like the Heath nuts have taken over from the church in demanding obedience. Hope they get discredited in the same way.

        • Well its no different than aribitory fast days or commands to not eat certian foods cause "reasons" is it really ? except now they merely use the cult of science or health instead of the cult of jesus of allah or what ever

  4. I have travelled widely in my sixty years of life, often to dirt poor countries. Anyone who has seen street children sleeping on cardboard in doorways, fighting feral dogs for dustbin scraps and fast food leftovers as I have would never dictate what constitutes a good diet: any calories are better than none.

    The survivors of such miserable, malnourished childhoods are generally stunted and skinny. Even if they somehow achieve prosperity the damage is already done, no amount of good food in one’s twenties and thirties can undo a deprived childhood.

    Fortunately most mums (and Grans) know this: milk and cookies, fries, chocolate – all foods growing children require. As a clever American once observed “All societies are only five missed meals away from anarchy”. Let’s all be grateful we have plenty of choice, and food to spare – the alternatives are much, much nastier than Weston-super-Mare.

    • Welcome, Peter!  The Nannies have lost all touch with the real world.  They have forgotten that they need not worry about starvation or malnourishment and concentrate instead on nagging over pointless things which in the Grand Scheme are trivialities.  Which is better – starvation or overweight?  I know which I would choose.  

  5. A bit of a bit I done did back in 2013 regarding the road of life;

    So all you, ‘it’s bad for you – I don’t like it so you can’t do it – it’s not healthy – we have to stop it now!’ fellows, let me assure you that while you’re possibly just passed ‘start’ on life’s highway and it looks like a long, almost never ending road ahead with time aplenty to foist your pettiness upon others, try to take on-board wot’s below….


    Trust me, when you get to my end of the road two things will become obvious. One, it’s cluttered to hell an’ back with tin cans and, two, when you look over your shoulder, back down the road, you’ll realise just how short a journey it actually was. Then you’ll understand, too late, what a complete and total waste of your brief time it was being so miserable, hating the enjoyment of others and trying to foist your misery on those who had a little zest for life and who were attempting, against all the odds, to enjoy their brief moment in the sun.

    • Excellently put!  We do only have one shot at things [unless you're a Buddhist?] so make the most of it.

      I often wonder about those who join silent religious orders to dedicate themselves to their god.  What happens if they pass on and discover there is no afterlife?  A life wasted?

      • I often wonder about those who join silent religious orders to dedicate themselves to their god.  What happens if they pass on and discover there is no afterlife?  A life wasted?

        you need to connect with the menhir more often or spend more time in the company of herself. Both are stoical.

  6. One of the ironies here is that, thanks to earlier successful efforts by the health police, most of the hated fizzy drinks contain remarkably little sugar, it having been replaced by delightful neurotoxic cocktails like Nutrasweet. I go to some lengths to find fizzy drinks that are sweetened with sugar and, curiously, I am still much the same weight and size that I was 40 years ago. Something called metabolism, I think.

    • Welcome, James!  One thing seems to stand out with all the Puritans' meddling – the consequences are never what they expect [and claim].  If they stopped meddling, life would be a lot healthier and happier…

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