Don't you just love science?

I'm talking about real science and not those who macerate numbers to prove their preconceived notions.  The latter just give science a bad name.

The lads over at CERN are at it again, playing with their favourite toy, the Large Hadron Collider [V 2.0].

Their latest venture is to find Dark Matter.  Now Dark Matter makes up 80% of everything so you'd think you'd be tripping over the stuff at every move.  I have had a good search for it around the house, the garden and even under the beds and have drawn a complete blank which is strange if 80% of where I searched is made of this stuff?

But science is a tricky bugger.  I thought if I switched on all the lights then something dark would be easy to spot, but the scientists are one step ahead of me.  They claim that it's invisible [are we back to Harvey again?] and undetectable.

I think this is a bit of a cop out.  They tell us something is there, and when we can see it they immediately say that it's not only invisible but undetectable as well.  That's cheating.  If I went to pay for my baccy with Dark Money would the shopkeeper be happy?  Even if I explained to him that the money is there all right, but he can't see it and it's undetectable anyway, then I doubt very much if I would get away with it?  But apparently the scientists can and fair play to them.  It's a great trick.

So having invented something that isn't there [if you can’t see it, measure it or even detect it then to all intents and purposes it isn’t there?] they are now setting out to detect it.

I hope they do find it though.  It means that I will therefore have 80% more of everything which can't be bad?  It'll play havoc with property prices though as home owners will suddenly realise they are selling 80% more of a home than they thought and will presumably up their prices as a result?

I wonder what they'll dream up next?  White Matter?  [It’s principal characteristic is that it doesn’t exist, so if you do manage to find it then you’ve obviously found something else]  Green Matter?  [It’s always somewhere else]  Purple Matter? [It only exists when you’re not looking for it]

Science is an unending  source of fascination.

It was a lot more boring in the old days when we just had Protons, Neutrons and Electrons.

How ignorant we were.


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Finding the unfindable — 16 Comments

  1. Yeah, I miss the old days too when you could actually understand what you didn't understand.

    Something that's there but can't be seen and it's undetectable anyway? Explains my brain then.

    • The problem is that I could imagine little electrons orbiting a nucleus.  What I can't imagine is all these Quarks, Quarms, Strange and Weird particles or whatever they're called. Then there's the strings that wobble and squirm in God knows how many dimensions.  I think they invent those just to confuse people.

  2. not too bad, but one night on the telly I heard a science bloke explaining how he was studying the nothing that was there before the big bang.

    thats right studying nothing hard to beat that


    • I seem to remember reading something recently that they discovered galaxies that predate the Big Bang?  So either those galaxies happened to have been hanging around when the Big Bang happened or else they are traveling backwards in time.  Or maybe the Big Bang is a Damp Squib. 

      It's sad to think of someone devoting their time to studying what happened before something that didn't happen?

    • I think I saw that. 

      My theoretical physics (Grade 5 O Level, 1971) leads me to believe that once they've figured out the whole fucking thing God will simply click 'Restart'. But wouldn't it be great if the Universe contracted and time went backwards? I'm sure we could adapt to it.


  3. So having invented something that isn't there [if you can’t see it, measure it or even detect it then to all intents and purposes it isn’t there?] they are now setting out to detect it.

    Well if Tobacco Control can do it with 'second-hand smoke', I'm sure the lads at CERN will manage ok. TC just made up some numbers and issued press releases saying "research has shown…" and "experts have said…" and Bob's your uncle; job done.

    Is this 'dark matter' anything to do with the 'dark side'? If so, your Jedi mate is going to get into a bit of a spin about it, what with it being 80% an' all. Not good odds at all.

  4. What is 'SPACE'?

    It cannot be nothing, otherwise it would not exist. It must be 'a thing'. But the only property that it seems to have is volume, if volume alone is a real property. Einstein came to the conclusion that objects in space move in circles because matter (the Sun, for example) bends space. But if space can be bent, it can also be compressed and stretched, can't it? What then happens to the speed of light? 

    Is space the carrier for light waves?

    The is a huge void in physics which will not be filled until someone comes up with a theory of the nature of space.

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