Good fences make good neighbours

The dog next door has my heart scalded.

Now you should know by now that I like dogs, and the neighbour's dog is no exception.  He's a lovely fella with a playful nature and I wish him no ill will.


The little fucker keeps appearing at the door here and smiling at me.  If I ignore him, he jumps against the glass and as a result the door is pretty mucky.  What he wants is a game with Penny.  Penny likes him and the two of them have a great time chasing each other around the place until Penny gets tired and asks to come in again.

So far, no problem.

The problem arises from his nature.  He is a wanderer and is not happy with just running around a more than adequate garden.  Oh no.  The little bollix has greater ambitions and wants to explore the world.  So he has taken to breaking out of my place and going to explore the highways and byways, and Penny has taken to following him out of curiosity.

Penny is not a wanderer.  I could probably leave the gate open all day and she would ignore it.  She is quite happy where she is and until the neighbour's dog started teaching her bad habits it never crossed her mind to leave.  On a couple of occasions now I have found the two of them not on the lane, but out on the main road.  That is not on.

Our last dog Sandy was a wanderer.  She was a beautiful dog with a very intelligent and affectionate nature but I used to have to spend my time blocking holes in the fences.  My boundary consists of a mixture of bushes, trees, and wire netting, but from the Sandy days it also consists of many patches, bits of rusty iron, a bedstead or two and a lot of blood sweat and tears.  There was an enormous sigh of relief when I discovered that Penny wasn't interested in doing any Great Escapes.

But now those days are back.

I'm back to crawling through bushes and nettles, back to reefing myself on brambles and back to patching holes in the fencing.  Not only do I have to patch the exit holes but also the entrance holes so my task has doubled.  To make matters worse the neighbour's dog is young and incredibly athletic so the higher I build the fence, the higher he jumps. 

I am getting more than a little pissed off with that dog.

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Good fences make good neighbours — 9 Comments

  1. Try putting a small lead weight into its LEFT ear.   (Not the right ear)    I have found that it works very well.




    Best use a .22 rifle.

    • 😀  Charming!!  I'd be tempted, but the trouble is that he is rather a nice dog.  I might insert a drop of lead in the neighbour's ear though……

  2. I would "SWAT" the neighbors.  Call the guards (from a pay phone in town) and tell them the neighbors are shooting at people walking down the road.  Then sit back and watch as the SWAT team storms their house.

    • There is a small problem here.  The only SWAT team in the district is Sheriff and whoever he can round up in the pub.  They don't like to be troubled for anything less than all out war.

  3. There is a simple solution, you have to make your back yard more attractive then roaming. On your next trip to the village, take some time to through the rubbish bins, removing the vilest, most disgusting, smelliest items you can find and place them in your back yard. The dogs will spend hours rolling around in them having a grand time. 

    Heres another idea, an oldie but goodie story about dogs. I know Ireland does not have any elk, but perhaps you could do the same with some native animal or perhaps livestock. 

    • I hadn't seen that one before.  Nearly wet meself!  I suppose I could always trawl the valleys for a dead deer or two, but I wouldn't fancy them being dragged in through the windows.

  4. Grandad, My daughter had a boyfriend like that dog and I found the only cure was a kick up the hole, (for the boyfriend, not the daughter). Stopped her straying onto main roads at any rate………

    • Unfortunately I can't get near the little bollix [the dog, not your daughter's boyfriend].  He always runs off when I appear, but he always goes in the wrong direction – i.e. not home.  Someone else must have given him the boot some time in the past.

  5. Oh dear, Penny has a (4 leg-ed) boyfriend and he's leading her a-stray (pun intended). Well then, there's only one way to do with boyfriends like that. You give them a choice. Being shot or being shot.

    Alright, only kidding. I take it there's no such thing as a leash law in your part of the world?

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