Think of the cheeeeldren

So it looks like the UK is going to ban smoking in cars with children present?

Laying aside the fact that as a child I was driven countless miles in a smoke filled car and it never did my an iota of harm, this is an insane law.

It is insane on so many levels.

Firstly and most importantly it will be impossible to enforce.  Kids sitting in the back of a car are all but invisible to a casual bystander.  To be enforced, the police would have to set up road blocks to check all vehicles which is a waste of their and the motorist’s time.

The new laws propose that the driver of the car is “responsible” for the behavior of his [or her] passengers.  It is to by my responsibility to nag and bully an adult passenger if there are kids in the back?  So while a smoker can be fined £800 for smoking, the driver can be fined £10,000, not for smoking but for failing to enforce a law?  It is not my job to enforce any laws and no amount of blackmailing is going to force me into doing something which I find morally repugnant.

We all know where this is heading of course?

Only the simplest of minds could fail to predict a total ban on smoking in all cars whether there are children are present or not.  It will be brought in either “to protect the health of the adults” or “because it was too difficult to enforce the ban where children are present”.  So technically I could be driving along, minding my own business and puffing my pipe, and I can be stopped and fined for the sake of my health?  Is the secondary smoke more dangerous than the primary?  Will it be illegal to do something legal?

If these insane laws are brought in in this country [which I have no doubt they will] I have a few options open to me.

I can get tinted glass for my car.

Or a cheaper option would be to simply ban children for my car.  Let the little bastards walk.

I am already working on a little windscreen notice to that effect.

No Children Smoking Area

And if they bring in a total ban on smoking in cars, I'll see 'em in court.

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Comments

Think of the cheeeeldren — 10 Comments

  1. No, it won't be brought in because of difficulty enforcing this stupid law. Wait for a slew of news reports where smoking has caused accidents or caused fires in cars, then they can ride on the back of the fear and ban it on H&S grounds.

    • If I were you I wouldn't take a bet on that.  The Righteous have a nasty habit of getting their own way.

      As far as I am concerned I will allow them to tell me how to behave in my car when they pay for the car itself, the road tax, the annual test and all my petrol.  Until then they can go suck my exhaust pipe.

  2. And if they bring in a total ban on smoking in cars, I'll see 'em in court.

    Too bloody right, GD. They can just Fuck. Right. Off. I'd actually rather relish being busted, refusing to pay and being sent to prison – amidst a blaze of publicity, hopefully.

    They really are despicable bastards. They deserve to burn in hell. For eternity preferably, but I'd settle for a few millenia.

    • My defence – Are you seriously telling me I'm breaking a law by doing something lawful in my own property?  Jayzus but I'd sue them for discrimination!

  3. Grab a couple of 2nd hand kids booster seats from your local charity shop. Strap in a couple of these, grab a fag, or better, an e-fag. Drive around from supermarket to supermarket until such time as you're reported and stopped.

    http://www.applevalleydollworks.com/new_stuff

    Now – if I can think of this, then you can bet the fuzz'll have it sussed as well. They don't police the smoking ban and I suspect they'll back off from any involvement with this facile stupidity.

    They've got better things to do with their time, though – by and large – they're pretty mediocre at it.

    • Those things look revolting!  They'd be good enough for the job though.  Just drill a wee hole in the mouth and stick an electrofag in [modified to blow a constant stream of vapour].

      As for our noble Law Enforcers – there are some right bastards out there who take a great delight in chasing the slightest infringement of any law.  Cunts.

  4. I smoked in the car with the children in it. I wondered how to make the smoke dissipate. Lo and behold, the Ford designers had installed a mechanism to lower the window on the driver’s side by a few inches. Smoke was drawn through the gap by the slipstream. Incredibly, ASH says that winding down the window makes no difference. Lying bastards.

    • Actually, if I remember correctly, ASH stated that opening a window made things worse as the smoke blew back into the car.  The fact that that theory defies all science and logic seems to have escaped them.  Ignorant lying bastards.

      I presume this law will apply to open top cars?  Heh!

  5. The new laws propose that the driver of the car is “responsible” for the behavior of his [or her] passengers. 

    This is where the bastards have the driver responsible to police his own car.

    Did you know that it is not illegal to smoke in a British pub? It is illegal for the landlord to allow people to smoke on his/her premises. A small point I know, but you have in effect the landlord policing himself.

    Slimy bastards….

    • There is no way this side of Armageddon that I am going to do any policing of any laws.  If ever I am hauled before the beak, I will also make the point that if I am to police laws then I am entitle to a full policeman's salary effective from the introduction of that law.

      What happens if a pub owner cannot evict a smoker despite his best efforts?  Surely the law has then been complied with?  Unless of course he hits the smoker in which case there is a case to be heard!

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