Nuclear sunbeds

I don't like sunbeds.

I cannot see any redeeming features in the devices.  They are there to pander to the vain and serve no useful purpose whatsoever. 

Would I ban them?

No.  Why should I want to?  The don't affect me.  In fact they don't affect anyone except those who use them, and anyone who is self obsessed enough to climb into one and barbecue themselves can take what's coming to them.  They know the risks.

Of course our minister for sickness Fatso Reilly and the Irish Cancer Society want them "regulated" which ultimately means "banned".

You see, people need to be protected.  Fatso states that measures are "required to protect the public, in particular children and young persons, from the risk of skin damage ".  We really cannot think for ourselves so everything should be regulated, banned or labeled with huge warnings.  As for the children….  aw!  The poor precious mites……

Frankly I can't see how the public are affected by sunbeds.  Do they emit gamma radiation that fries everything in a fifty yard radius?  Do they emit microwaves that addle the brains of the entire neighbourhood?  No.  The only people who apparently need "protecting" are the people who use them.  Unless there really is secondhand ultraviolet light?

Once upon a time, cigarettes were the most deadly substance on the face of the planet.  No safe level and all that shit.  Now apparently sunbeds are equal in danger to cigarettes and plutonium.  "Research" tells us so, therefore it must be fact.

I do wish that O'Meara one would shut up and fuck off.  She's an irritating bitch  who seems to think her role in life is to lobby for protective legislation.  She seems to be under the illusion that she is somehow special and can see dangers in things that we can't.  What's worse is that she has Fatso's ear and puts these daft ideas in his head, as if he didn't have enough daft ideas of his own.

So leave sunbeds alone.  If people are stupid enough to want to fry themselves in one then that's their business.  If they kill themselves, then that is just Darwin at work, strengthening the gene pool.

In the meantime, I'm going to find me a sunbed and see if I can turn it into a nuclear bomb.

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Nuclear sunbeds — 18 Comments

  1. Sunbeds do have a good use, although probably not the intended one. I suffered from Psoriasis from my mid teens to my early twenties. I used all the foul smelling creams and other crap that the doctors gave me but nothing worked.

    Two weeks of sunbed sessions every other day cleared it up completely and it never came back. I'm glad these nitwits weren't around to ban sunbeds back then, I'd still be suffering now.

  2. I refuse to use electric blankets ever since a near incineration of a family member many years ago when an old blanket shortwired and smouldered foul rubber fumes before erupting in flames. I use the good old hot water bottle in emergencies. I never went in for suntans either, so I’ve no use for expensive sunbeds.

  3. Will they cook 2 dozen "bangers" at one go, dark brown all round, without the bother of turning them?

    PS to Bucko: That's remarkable and good on you; but we don't usually learn of the good news.

    • Save yourself the trouble and just chuck a full pig in.  He should come out nice and crispy all over?  Don't forget to give him safety goggles though.

  4. Gratuitous bird in a bikini picture showing dumb and dumber what sunbeds are used for. Just for fun I told myself the bird was Kathleen so I googled her picture and fuck me she looks like Arnott's sister.

  5. Don't ignore the fact that much of this modern 'regulation' is no such thing. Often it has two much more important effects.

    Firstly it is a way to make people pay for a license and as such is no more than a form of taxation on the 'regulated' activity. In a good example it will also swell the ranks of government employment – obviously regulation need regulators.

    Secondly it allows the prodnoses access to more private premises where they will no doubt also be on the lookout for any other activities.

    • You forgot the most important one – regulations mean transgressions, and transgressions mean FINES.  More regular cash for the greedy coffers.

  6. When I was a kid I suffered from excema, it was the worst in the winter but after the summer holidays of care free frolicking with just a pair of swimming trunks it would clear up almost completely, apparently it was the U.V. rays, they help clear up certain skin conditions, I find it depressing that Ireland is so under the boot of the E.U. so ably abetted by your Quisling politictians, I wonder when they will start to try to outlaw the road racing?

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