Coining it in

Last April, the Dublin Mint Office announced they were going to produce a coin in commemoration of Michael Collins.

There is a bit of family history that ties us into those times and I thought I would treat Herself to the coin.

I sent off for it and when it arrived my suspicions were somewhat aroused.  Apparently this coin was one of a series that was going to carry on ad infinitum, with each coin getting more expensive as we progress.

I have had some experience of The Reader’s Digest and National Geographic and I am only too familiar with the technique – they keep sending me shit and expecting me to pay for it and there is nothing I can do to stop them.  The only way to spike their guns is to get them at the outset.  I had ordered the first coin, so I had no problems with sending ‘em a cheque.  However, I enclosed a letter with it –

Dear Sirs,
I am sending a cheque as per the enclosed invoice.
I note that you intend sending further coins in the future.  I would prefer not to receive them.
Please remove me from your mailing list, and please do not send any further items.  I shall consider any such items to be unsolicited gifts and will not return them.   I shall accept encashment of my cheque to be proof that you have read this and accepted my terms.
Thanking you,

I thought that was plain enough and I sat back and waited for the cheque to be cashed.

Next thing, I receive a nasty letter saying they haven’t received my payment.

I rang them, and they were most apologetic – they had indeed received my cheque, and therefore my letter.

That was the end of that saga.

No it wasn’t.

A couple of weeks later I received another coin and a load of other bumf that I didn’t want.  Naturally I received an invoice for a silly amount.  I ignored it.

Then I received a letter complaining that they hadn’t received the second payment.  I enclosed a letter with their invoice and sent it back [without a cheque] –

Dear Sirs,
I refer you to the attached letter a copy of which I enclosed with my remittance for your previous coin.
Not only was my cheque lodged to your account, but I confirmed by telephone that it had been received.   I can therefore accept that you agreed to my conditions.
Thanking you,

While I was away, I received an email.  They claim that “somehow the first letter and the cheque got separated” and could I please send back the second coin?


They can fuck off.

This morning I got a letter from them announcing a new series of freshly minted pre-decimal coins, and would I like to subscribe?

For fuck’s sake!

Can’t they take a fucking hint?

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Coining it in — 12 Comments

  1. Firstly, welcome back – I've missed your daily blog/rant/observations.


    I can sympathize with you on this kind of crap as, like yourself, I got involved in one of these never ending sagas with the Readers Digest some years ago. What a bunch of wankers they turned out to be. It took me the best part of two years to get them off my back over some book deal that I did not want.

  2. I git involved with something similar when my local publican filled out my name and address on a Guinness application form. A few times a year, I get Guinness Calenders and other things but they always contain vouchers for pints of the black stuff in that local.Needless to say, no money changes hands. Pity that I don't really like Guinness.

  3. As a former Marketing bod, may I comment?

    1.  All non-buyers will be treated as if they had agreed to the terms and conditions written in 2 point Greek at the bottom of some document or other – which, of course, they failed to mail to you.

    2. Responding to any such offer constitutes acceptance of these terms.

    3. Variant behaviour such as failing to pay for later items will be met with seriously aggressive, even legal-sounding- demands which have no substance, but sound good to the Marketing Director.

    4. Bolshy people are to be ignored or bullied as far as possible.

    5. If all else fails, ignore the correspondence and carry on as though the problem does not exist.

    Surprising how effective this abominable behaviour can be.  But Readers Digest are just amateurs compared with some prolific advertisers.  Just never, ever, respond, and certainly never give them a credit card number.

    Great that you should have thought of  Herself.  Just don't do it again.

    By the way, welcome back.  Hate to think of you as a whimper..

  4. The general rule is to never fall for ANY “special offer”.

    These bastards just don’t understand the meaning of the words “fuck off”.

    • Maybe they were thinking you'd have a change of heart GD.
      Did they expect you to pay for the postage too on the second coin you never wanted?
      And the hassle of going to the PO.. tell um to send you a cheque for the mileage down to the post office, that you're out in the sticks.. and you'll consider it.


  5. I had this problem once and contacted Trading Standards as it was not made clear it was inertia selling. On their advice I told the company I would not be paying for anything else, followed call by letter and that if they sent anything else they could either collect it within four weeks or I would consider it an unsolicited gift. I never heard another word and got 6 pairs of tights.

  6. I wish to announce that I'm currently offering a commemorative coin with my ugly mug stamped upon it. This coin is offered for only $50.00 for a limited time only or until the cops find out about my illegal counterfeiting operation in my basement. If discovery does not occur I will subsequently send you other fine coinage, without your solicitation or permission, with the ugly mugs of my neighbors stamped upon them for additional charges of $50.00 each. I will also send, without charge, a large lump of a man with no neck and arms like tree stumps (with equivalent brain capacity) to ensure payment which you did not agree to in the first place.

    Thank you for your time and future payments in this matter.

  7. Forgot to check the damn check box again. Next thing you know I'll be sending away for commemorative underwear or some such nonsense.

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