The gravity of the situation

There are quite a few scares wandering around at the moment.

There is the big scare where people are convinced that a smouldering leaf can kill all children within a radius of five miles.

Then of course there is the contention that somehow we are making the climate warmer colder change.  This is an interesting one because despite the science being settled, scientists are somehow unsettled as to why all their predictions are going arse over tit.

There is however a real and clear threat to the survival of us all that is apparently going unnoticed.  Whilst in the past I may have made some facetious comments about the smoking business and I may have cocked a sneer at the climate people, this one has me genuinely worried.

The problem is that we are running out of gravity.

I know this may sound ludicrous [but not half as ludicrous as the anti-smokers or the climate mob?] but I beg you all to take this threat seriously.

There is a schools’ educational film from back in the 70s that gives the first alerts, and I can’t understand how this dreadful problem has been brushed under the carpet ever since.

 

We have got to learn to conserve gravity.

This is an imperative.  We must act now.

I am genuinely worried.

It’s making me feel quite light headed.

Tip of the cap to WNBTV

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Comments

The gravity of the situation — 14 Comments

  1. Very worrying indeed.

    I must ask my landlord to screw down my apartment here.

     

    I'll do the house in Wicklow as well when I'm home next month just in case.

  2. Glad to see you're taking this serious, son.

    Over here everyone's a touch blasé about the problem, going so far to say things like "Oh, no issue – it's like peak oil…we'll just find more" and "Gravity? Isn't that related to gravitas? We'll just borrow some from all those BBC news readers, right?"

    Hell, even NASA has weighed in, promising to go into space to lasso a huge asteroid and bring it to earth; the "thinking" being the combined gravitys of the 2 celestial bodies would at least temporarily alleviate the problem…

     

     

    • Hold on – major problem….  If NASA is going to launch a mission, they'll probably use what little gravity there is left.  Bastards.

      BBC newsreaders don't have gravitas.  They have piles.

  3. In that case it's the suck-vacuum that is decreasing

    Don't worry about the suck vacuum I heard they have the guy from Dyson looking into it, their vacuums never loose suction so we'll be ok. I work with a couple of Dysons myself, you've never seen anyone suck up like them.

  4. The only thing that scares me is the red head rambles banner that flashes on screen on arrival at this online pub and then vanishes to be replaced by the caricature of Richard. WFT is going on there?

    • I haven't a clue how that red thing crept in.  I just did a search through the basement and I think I found where it's coming from [someone spilt a tin of paint down there].  I think it's fixed now?

      And that handsome chappie is me.  I wouldn't allow him on the site.

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