Six years ago the Manor was invaded by a television crew.
Six years? Good God!!
Anyhows, they took over the place and scattered lights and cameras around every room, and Herself kept tripping over the miles of cable that snaked everywhere, so she had to be sedated and confined to the front bedroom.
The programme was broadcast in March and it was a disaster. They edited out all the decent bits and just left in the bland, mushy bits. I cringed at the sight of myself looking as if I had just smoked a wodge of potent ganja [actually, it had been pretty potent and the camaraman was very generous with his stash]. Worst of all, I looked and sounded exactly like my brother.
A copy of the programme was put up on the RTE web site, just to rub salt into the embarrassment and there it stayed for much too long. Eventually, they decided that there were more important things to show the public and the programme was mercifully removed.
Yesterday I was doing a bit of tidying in the back junk-room. There, underneath a pile of old newspapers and unpaid bills I found a DVD. It was a copy of the programme that the film company had sent me as a wee memento. I don’t even remember them sending it to me, but they must have, else it wouldn’t be there. I whacked the DVD into the laptop and fired it up. There were a few strange files there doing nothing in particular, but there in all its ghastly glory was the programme as it had been broadcast. My eyes bled.
I suppose you’d all like to see this DVD?
Well, after much thought, I have decided to let you see it.