Penny, the new dog has been with us for a week now.

These are some of the things I have learned.

She likes water.  Her first act on arrival was to jump in the lake and then trail mud, water and lily pads into the house.

She is extremely affectionate.  I keep tripping over her as she insists on rolling onto her back just in front of me when I’m walking.

She straight away acknowledged that I am Top Dog.  This is fair enough as I am.  Herself gets the second class treatment, which is also fair enough.

She is a crap driver.  I gave her her first lesson the other day and she just jumped onto the back seat and panted.  Luckily I was able to grab the wheel and stop the car.  That may require some work.

She can read.  This morning I discovered this as I waded through shards of aluminium foil.  She had found a box containing dog food in sealed aluminium pouches and had helped herself.  The only way she could have known they contained dog food was by reading the labels.

She likes to rearrange things.  She frequently moves odd items from one room to another.  It could be a shoe or a hair grip, a cardboard box or a toilet roll.  Nothing is ever damaged [apart from one shoe that had a tiny piece of leather removed].

She has a cast iron stomach.  She robbed a carton of spread [margarine as it used to be known] and finished the lot.  Lesser canines would have puked the lot up again.

She will eat anything.  [see above]

She is quiet.  For the first three days I thought she was mute, but then she saw the neighbour’s dog outside the gate and let rip.  Impressive!  She hasn’t barked since.

She hates flies.  If a fly gets into the room [not unusual at this time of year] she tears around after it, sending furniture and anything else flying.  I am learning to dread flies.

She is fast.  And when I say fast I mean really fucking fast.  I wonder if it’s too late to enter her for the Olympics?

She is not a wanderer.  I don’t think she has reached the perimeter of the land yet.  She just hangs around near the house or, if I’m outside, near me.

She is remarkably obedient.  Someone must have trained her in the past as she obeys most commands straight away…..

Except of course to keep out of the fucking lake.

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Getting to know you — 11 Comments

  1. Sean – Delightful my arse!  She has just jumped in the fucking lake again.  I’ll have to erect “No Swimming” notices.

  2. Grandad – It’s the heat I guess 🙂  Just keep the hosepipe ready and the door closed.  That way at least it will be clean water all over the carpet. 

  3. tt – Of course I’m talking about the dog.  You don’t think I’m talking about Herself, do you?  It’s hard enough even getting her into the shower.  And if the dog is trying to top herself, she’s going a very messy way about it.

  4. It’s just hot; a natural reaction. I must do it 2 or 3 times a day. Nothing’s quite as refreshing as a dip au naturale

    Also, not for nuthin’, but a friend is over visiting your wee neck of the woods, “visiting painter” or some such. The part of your isle that has “a lot of rocks” apparently, so many rocks it’s known for it. Anyhow, her name’s Henri and I sent her your link to drinking a Guinness in public and told her to look you up, that you love tourists.

    Don’t shoot her, please.

  5. Doc – Hot?  HOT???  It’s fucking August and I damn near have the central heating on.  You might have hit on a point though – she may have thought that the ice on the lake was solid ground?

    The only part of this blighted isle tha is known more for its rocks than anything else sounds like Clare and The Burren.  That’s the other side of the country from here, so it’s unlikely I’ll bump into your friend by accident or even by design.  However, if she happens to take a wrong turn and ends up in the slightly more civilised side of the country, and I happen to hear her name being shouted, I shall of course treat her with the due respect that I reserve for all visitors.

  6. It’s fucking August and I damn near have the central heating on

    It’s a funny ol’ world; we’ve had nearly 2 solid months of 39C+ weather here; today we’re in for a cool spell, with the high only expected to reach 36C. I may throw on a sweater…

    I shall of course treat her with the due respect that I reserve for all visitors.

    And who could ask for more?

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