A Penny for your thoughts

We have a new addition to the family.

No.  Herself has not produced.  Not so long ago, Spanner wryly commented that if Herself ever produced anything it would be a mackerel.  I think he meant ‘miracle’, but for a while it provided an interesting, if somewhat disturbing mental image to play with.

I digress.

I would like to introduce you all to Her Highness the Right Honourable Lady Penelope Ponsonby Smallpiece.

Penny

If you think I’m going to yell that name out last thing at night to call her in, you have another fucking think coming.

I think I’ll call her Penny.

She is not a substitute for Sandy as no dog fill that role, but she needed a home and we have one going to spare, so it seemed like the right thing to do.

I don’t know what she is.  Her papers call her a Collie Cross but I don’t think so.  I think there is more than a twinge of Lurcher, with a smidgen of Whippet coursing through her veins.  One thing she excels at is speed.

She is extremely affectionate which is a problem as I keep tripping over her, as she will insist in rolling on her back just in front of me as I’m walking.  On the down side, she seems to be a water dog as I let her out this morning and she obviously went for a swim in the lake as she reappeared, sopping wet, muddy and trailing a lily leaf.

She is about two years old and has a puppy, but the puppy just bullied her around so he had to find a different home.  I know how she must have felt.  Fucking offspring!

You shall probably hear a lot more about Penny as we have a very long journey ahead of us.

I have to teach her to type, drive a car and terrorise tourists, and that’s just for starters.

It’s going to be a long road.

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Comments

A Penny for your thoughts — 24 Comments

  1. Welcome to the (extended) family, Your Ladyship! You have no idea what you’re getting into I’m sure.
     
    @Grandad – Sure you don’t want to call her Victoria? (that’s a private joke actually)

  2. She looks sweet, and aristocratic – must be the way she holds her head, she’ll soon have you licked into shape.
    We all know nobody can replace Sandy but I expect she’ll keep you too busy to be miserable. 

  3. Does she enjoy the pipe occasionally and what are her tastes in tourists??? (please don’t say just Americans!)

  4. Definately a bit of greyhound/whippet perhaps shades of terrier in there Grandad, proud looking little girlie, well all I’m gonna say is….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  5. Brianf – You have me there.  I looked up and no – I didn’t get her from the National Academy of Supercomputing, the National Autistic Society or a rapper.  You will have to enlighten me?

    Kirk M – Victoria smacks too much of that anorexic Beckham bitch.  Actually, you have a point there.. she does look like an anorexic bitch?

    Meltemian – One thing I have discovered today is that it is impossible for me to go anywhere without her.  As I walk, I keep feeling her nose tapping the back of my leg.

    Cat – Stampie is back and has no fear of dogs.  I will introduce them in due course.  So far I haven’t heard one single bark out of her though.

    John – Silk Cut Purple, so I’ll have to wean her onto the pipe.  Fags are too expensive.  And as for the tourists – I just train her to terrorise anyone who hasn’t got a local accent.  That usually works well enough.

    NLD – Hah!  You’re first on her terrorising list!

    tt –  I don’t think so.  I think you need to stay on the pills a little longer yet.

    Ian – A word of warning.  She is one of those moulters who produces vast quantities of short white needle-like hairs.  Wear pale clothing!

    Jan M – I have seen her run a couple of times in the garden now, and I can assure you that she is easily the fastest dog I have ever known.  I might enter her as a greyhound yet?

  6. Well, as usual I’m late to the party.
    Welcome, welcome Lady Penny. What a beauty you are.
    I agree with there being at least some whippet in her so she will be fast and can probably run for hours. It’s nice that she already trusts you enough to follow you everywhere. 
    Here’s to a long and happy partnership. She’s chosen a great family as far as I can tell. Lucky dog!
     

  7. Joysness – Better late than never, so they say?  It looks like the bond is there all right, but I may have to loosen it a bit.  She won’t even go out for a pee now unless I go with her.  And I don’t pee in the garden that often so there could be a problem there.

  8. Penny is a breed of pet dog eminently suited to small town and countryside. You mention that she’s a fast gal. Have you ever heard of terrier racing? Down south (Corkish I think) it used to be a popular summer season sport as pet owners entered their mutts in organized weekend races. Straight courses of 100 yards or more were carefully laid out. Wooden boxes with springing doors were built for six dogs at a time to be released simultaneously when the trapdoor was sprung. A mechanical ‘hare’ – real fur wrapped over a metal frame – was pulled mechanically along a straight taut, thick wire in the middle of the track. Track judges watched carefully for numbers 1, 2 and 3 in each race. Spectators placed bets (a tanner or one bob was accepted from children on Sundays) with bookies attending these events. From Easter until early summer time trials were held to classify dogs of various species for the summer races. Greyhounds and whippets were barred. A special sheepdog category was reserved for farm families to test the relative speeds of their valued animals.

    But I digress. Penny is a fast gal and may she be with you happily for a long time.

  9. “It’s going to be a long road.”

    Bollocks; sounds like a perfect match. Congratulations.

    Our household also recently added a family member, but it’s so small I’m not even sure it’s a dog

  10. Ger – I could never enter her in a race.  It just wouldn’t be fair on the competition.  One thing I have noticed about her is her walk – She glides along as elegantly as a horse doing dressage. Beautiful!

    Brianf – You amaze me!  Spot on.  You been chatting to our K8?

  11. I recognise that look in Penny’s eyes … it says, “Tell me you haven’t found that pile of shit behind the sofa – pleeease …”

  12. Apologies Grandad – it’s because I’ve been listening to Jeremy I’m In Front on the radio this p.m. What a first class defecation that man is..

  13. Grandad –

    Oh, that’s it: pile on. The mates have already been hard at it…

    The worse part is getting up in the middle of the night -you figure it out- and somehow avoiding squishing all 5 fluffy pounds of her.

  14. Caratacus – Or as we say here – a nasty little pile of wombat’s doos.

    Doc – I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help it.  Does it speak when you pull a string?  And as for stepping in things, I can think of worse things to step into in bare feet in the early hours?  Not as heavy, but a good deal squishier?

  15. Are Penny and I the only ones to have spotted that strangely placed dildo/vibrator shaped object on the window sill? That might explain the worried look on her face ;D

  16. It is neither a dildo nor a vibrator.  Just to shed a little light on the matter, it is in fact a torch.  Over the years, I have gotten into the habit of leaving torches, oil-lamps and lanterns lying around the place in case of power cuts.  Sorry for the very mundane response – I know you were hoping for something more salacious.

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