I got up this morning, as one does.

I slipped on my slippers and dressing gown and toddled off to do the usual morning routines.

Having finished the routines and also finished my first mug of tea, I decided to get dressed. I toddled back to the bedroom and then I saw it. Shit! All over the place.

Penny has been dropping the odd poo around the house for the last couple of months or so. It’s not a regular thing and I actually saw her in the act of dropping one the other day. The strange thing is that I don’t think she was aware she was doing it which would explain why she wasn’t asking to go out. It wasn’t a problem however as the poos were always small and dry so they were very easy to remove.

This morning was different. To say she had had The Squits is an understatement, It was semi-liquid and liberally sprayed all around the floor on my side of the bed. It is a real miracle I didn’t step in it. Liquid poo is not nice squishing up between the toes.

I spent the rest of the morning on my hands and knees, first wiping up the abomination and then firing up the carpet shampoo machine which I hadn’t bothered returning to Daughter. The carpet is now clean but somewhat damp so the window is wide open. Strangely there was no “aroma” but last night before bedtime she dropped a couple of farts that had the wallpaper peeling off the walls. She rarely farts but when she does, by God she does. It’s an unforgettable experience.

So it’s back to the vet again this afternoon. I had picked up two months supply of medication yesterday to avoid a monthly trip, not guessing I ironically was going to be back next day. I’m not that worried about Penny’s health but I prefer to err on the side of caution. The last time she had a vaguely similar problem it was life threatening and involved her going on a drip. I like the vet but I don’t like going there. It has nasty memories of putting dogs to sleep and having heart “events”. Penny doesn’t seem too worried yet and is curled up happily on the couch with a smile on her face.

She looks like she couldn’t give a shit.