On having a cat day
It’s a while since I mentioned the cat?
He is part of the furniture at this stage. That is to say he’s part of the furniture that the little fuck hasn’t ripped to shreds.
I had grown a little fond of him I must confess. He requires little maintenance apart from feeding, and the odd kick up the hole when he starts back at ripping the furniture. Penny has even taken over the latter task and chases him at the first sound of a rip.
The cat and dog are at a situation where the dog either ignores the cat or looks on with a somewhat superior smirk if the cat is wandering around. The cat on the other hand [paw?] has taken a bit of a shine to Penny and rubs off her whenever he gets the chance. I don’t know why he bothers as Penny completely ignores him, apart from sniffing his arse from time to time.
Now the more astute of you may have noticed that I said I had grown fond, rather than I have grown fond. Up until this morning the latter would have applied, but this morning he lost every single one of his brownie points and then some.
Seven o’fucking clock! Yes – seven o’clock in the morning! That is the time he decided to play silly buggers.
First of all he woke me by scratching the bedroom door. I don’t know why he did this as normally he very wisely respects my sleep time [even if I don’t respect his]. Anyhows, I ignored him but he somehow managed to open the door. I don’t know how he was able to do that trick and can only imagine he climbed onto the bannisters, curled himself up and flung himself like a canon ball at the door.
Having gained entry, did he curl up on the bed like any self respecting cat would? Did he fuck! He discovered a box of cat treats where Herself had left them on top of a chest of drawers. Naturally he knocked it over causing a glorious cascade of treats onto the floor. He then proceeded to eat them. One by one. Slowly. And noisily.
By this stage I was wide awake and thoroughly pissed off, so I grabbed the cat, fucked him out the door and got dressed.
I am not in the best of moods today as a result.
The cat is now fast asleep in his little basket, while I am wide awake but knackered.
I think I’ll go pour a bucket of cold water over him.
That’ll teach him!
I glued a piece of carpet to a piece of wood, and screwed it to the kitchen wall by the back door. I trained the cats to scratch that. It worked……….
Welcome BofanE! [sorry about the abbreviation but if you had to fight with my keyboard, you’d understand].
We have one of those rope scratching poles which I keep moving to the latest favourite scratching place. It never works. He just moves on to scratch somewhere else. I also have a sort of corrugated cardboard scratching mat which he equally ignores. It’s easier to just set the dog on him.
“trained the cats”
HAHAHHAHAHAH! *Me laughs at silly human that thinks he/she trained a cat* You don’t train a cat, they train you.
Any halfway decent cat worthy of the name will just laugh in your face about water. Empty a bottle of kitchen oil over him …that’ll really annoy him . Or put used chewing gum on his fur.
I don’t chew gum. Would the dottle from the bottom of my pipe bowl mixed with olive oil do? It is extra virgin [the oil, not the dottle]
Depends on whether you want to terminally piss him off or terminal him for good. I’ve told you before, that stuff you smoke is made with the Tonka Beans and they make warfarin out of that shit. Mind you, as it’s Condor you’re smoking you probably wouldn’t need to worry about the dottle giving Mr Pussy Paws nicotine poisoning ….
My wife has a cat. If you include chicken then my wife eats more birds. The only other differences are that herself is bigger and watches TV.
I don’t like cats.
Aww, you’re being cruel to poor pussy. He’s only doing what comes naturally…
:o)
Should I tell you what comes to me naturally when I get woken unnaturally early by anything or anyone?
The judge’s closing remarks were rather disparaging I felt.
Welcome to the wonderful world of cat ownership. And keep the treats locked in an upper cabinet. You should of known better.