My chance at fame and glory
Be still my beating heart!
I am so excited at the news splashed across all the news sites today.
Ireland is to get a new television channel! Wooopee Dooo!
However, before we give ourselves a heart attack, or wet our knickers at the exciting prospect, let's just look at a few facts.
Ireland has a population of four million or so, which is a lot smaller than a lot of cities. It already has RTE1, RTE2, TV3, and TG4 which are exclusively Irish based. Add to that the fact that the vast majority here either have cable or satellite, so we ain't exactly spoiled for choice? I haven't counted the number of channels available to me for a while but it must be approaching the thousand mark at this stage. I have a choice of mainstream channels, re-run channels, God channels, shopping channels, God knows how many film channels, a couple of channels dedicated solely to Christmas, for fuck's sake, dozens of sports channels, fucking wedding channels, the list is fucking endless and all of them are shite. Adding a new channel is akin to celebrating the planting of a new tree in a fucking forest.
So what is special about this new one?
It's a new ITV channel, so it will have exclusive rights to Coronation Street and Emmerdale.
Sweet sufferin' Jayzus on a tricycle!
They are opening a new television station to carry two fucking soap operas that everyone here can watch already, should they be so inclined. Now that is what I call an astounding business model.
The only bright spark on the horizon is that TV3 barely scraped by on the fact that they had Coronation Street and Emmerdale, and filled the rest of their schedule with cheap American crap and Rambo films, so I can't see them lasting much longer. Not that it makes any difference to me because I never watched TV3 anyway.
I can't exactly see this new station setting the world on fire.
Unless of course they decide to do a really decent Saturday Night chat show that "breaks the mould"?
How does "The Head Rambles Show" sound to you?
"Saturday Night with Grandad"?
I think " The Head Rambles Show " has quite a nice ring to it .. it would knock The Tubs show right off the air !
"it would knock The Tubs show right off the air" Sure an hour of Tom & Jerry would do that!
The Head Rambles Show, tune in for the best political satire in Ireland..yea kinda works for me maybe you can do guest spots from different countries, I offer up a drunken crack smoking Mayor of Toronto and his boss Prime Minster Stephen Harper..whee fun..that and the trio of Senators who just got in trouble for falsifying their expense claims…oh yea there is a show in this
I think we have enough drunken embarrassing politicians of our own without going overseas?
Saturday night with Grandad would be great. Could not be any worse than the 99% of shite that's on at the moment.
Why do I not find that comment very flattering? Now if you said better than 99%…. No, that's not very flattering either.
Yeah, I wondered about that after I posted it but it WAS meant to be complimentary.
UTV Ireland – how stupid!
Ulster Television Ireland!
Madness.
I did wonder about that. They can't call it ITV. ROITV? Hah!
BURP TV, if Eire rejoins the UK and they abolish the monarchy in a gay (old meaning) referendum. British Union of Republican People. The station could broadcast from the Isle of Person, sorry Man.
I'd give it one night. After that, you would never get any more guests to face your brand of music – and probably be fired for "anti-Government activities".
Would love to see it, though. Worth moving home for?
Thanks for the vote of confidence! I wouldn't issue invites – I'd issue challenges. Definitely worth moving home for, though it would probably be syndicated worldwide.
For (your) God's sake – just do it. Send me the pirate video copy. Go out in one blinding flash of glory.
A sort of John McCririck meets Vincent Browne show ?
Throw in a dash of Jeremy Paxman and you have it. 😈
Tonight
Beardies Half Hour Starring Richard O'Connor and Russell Brand.
Taking beardy weirdness to unfathomable depths.
Not that fussy about Russell Brand. Richard who?
Yes! I would pay many Bitcoins or CoinBits to see Saturday Night With Head Rambles. Is there a place on the show for K8 and Herself?
As I said above, I'm sure it would be syndicated even to such places as Costa Rica. K8 can do the cameras and Herself can hand out the tea and biscuits.
Before emigrating I donated my TV set to a charity so many years ago, but I am sometimes troubled in conscience. Did the beneficiaries suffer mental abuse from the gift? There are two ways you can deal with this constant emotional and cultural abuse from TV channel bombardment. 1. Take the offending TV set out into the back garden when the missus is at the hairdressers and shoot the screen with two rounds of prime buckshot. Or ask a farmer friend with a licensed shotgun to do the job. 2. Buy a DVD player and only watch hired DVD movies.
I could think of some more extreme measures, which might not be legal and moral.
Legal has no place here, and I'm not even sure about moral any more.
One use I have discovered is that it makes a damn good screen for my laptop. I don't even have to squint at it when I type.
Was there not talk sometime in the past about RTE linking up with one of the ITV companies? Maybe it was Granada, in those days when the ITV companies really were independent; maybe I'm misremembering.
UTV is, of course, not Ulster television; it's a Northern Ireland six county station. Perhaps the new station could call itself Channel 32 or Four Province TV!
You're getting very PC in your old age, Ian? All Ireland TV [AITV]? Four Green Fields TV [FGFTV]? I bet they end up calling it something really inventive like TV4.
"The Head Rambles Show" or"Saturday Night with Grandad" does sound way more interesting than the drivel that passes for entertainment here too…… 😀
Be honest – that wouldn't be hard?
true, but i still think it be an interesting non politically correct show anyway.. 😉
What this world need is a lot more political incorrectness.
This deserves some strategic thinking. Daytime TV demographics mean that females of the 18-49 age range and those 55+ are the most likely audience for this slot This may be more appealing to you? On the other hand you are less likely to be censored during the primetime slot so that could be attractive as well.
Have you considered a possible full-time role – Grandad On, Night and Day, in which case you could be known as the GONAD Show! 😉
Brilliant!
But 18 to 49 and 55+? What happens to the 50 to 54 mob? Is there something about that age group I should know about?