Be still my beating heart!
I am so excited at the news splashed across all the news sites today.
Ireland is to get a new television channel! Wooopee Dooo!
However, before we give ourselves a heart attack, or wet our knickers at the exciting prospect, let's just look at a few facts.
Ireland has a population of four million or so, which is a lot smaller than a lot of cities. It already has RTE1, RTE2, TV3, and TG4 which are exclusively Irish based. Add to that the fact that the vast majority here either have cable or satellite, so we ain't exactly spoiled for choice? I haven't counted the number of channels available to me for a while but it must be approaching the thousand mark at this stage. I have a choice of mainstream channels, re-run channels, God channels, shopping channels, God knows how many film channels, a couple of channels dedicated solely to Christmas, for fuck's sake, dozens of sports channels, fucking wedding channels, the list is fucking endless and all of them are shite. Adding a new channel is akin to celebrating the planting of a new tree in a fucking forest.
So what is special about this new one?
It's a new ITV channel, so it will have exclusive rights to Coronation Street and Emmerdale.
Sweet sufferin' Jayzus on a tricycle!
They are opening a new television station to carry two fucking soap operas that everyone here can watch already, should they be so inclined. Now that is what I call an astounding business model.
The only bright spark on the horizon is that TV3 barely scraped by on the fact that they had Coronation Street and Emmerdale, and filled the rest of their schedule with cheap American crap and Rambo films, so I can't see them lasting much longer. Not that it makes any difference to me because I never watched TV3 anyway.
I can't exactly see this new station setting the world on fire.
Unless of course they decide to do a really decent Saturday Night chat show that "breaks the mould"?
How does "The Head Rambles Show" sound to you?
"Saturday Night with Grandad"?