Number Ones and Number Twos
I must confess I find American elections a little confusing.
For a start, they seem to go on for such a long time.
Over here, a date is set and on that date we all go out and vote [as many times as possible] and then it’s all over bar the counting. Over there, they seem to spend months, or even years voting on who to put forward as a candidate, which seem a little pointless. Why not just vote once and be done with it?
Of course, being America everything has to be done with as much noise as possible – there is no doubt that Americans are the noisiest people on the planet. On top of that there are all sorts of strange things like Caucasus [what the fuck has a mountain range in Asia got to do with American elections? Or is it Caucus?] and Super Tuesday, Awesome Sunday and Whopping Wednesday. I haven’t a fucking clue what all that is about.
Then there are the candidates themselves. For a start, having a fucking stupid name seems to be a bonus. Then they are selected, not on what they hope to achieve but on what kind of lives they have led to date. They are scrutinised to see if they have ever smoked a joint or shagged the next door neighbour’s missus. Presumably they are trying to find the Squeaky Clean All American Boy who never lived a life apart from attending church all day and fighting a war or three. Didn’t stop Bill “suck my cigar” Clinton getting in though, did it? Heh!
There is a major flaw in this “weeding out the bad eggs” process though. They run the danger of rejecting the right man for the job, in favour of someone who has never lived life. They run the risk of voting in another basket case like Dubya. It’s a case of “maybe he did start World War Three, but at least he never shagged anyone he shouldn’t have”. That’s a great consolation as you slowly die from radiation poisoning?
There is one thing I have to envy though. Over there they at least manage to elect one president. Over here we have several [President of the European Council, President of the European Parliament, President of the European Central Bank and a load more] and we don’t get a chance to vote for any of them.
At this point I was going to make a crack about the mind numbing stupidity of parents who could name their child “Mitt Romney”. But then I suppose it’s a better name than Herman Van Fucking Rompuy?
The really important credential (apart from squeaky clean etc.) is zillions of dollars.
You don’t get elected in ‘Merca – you buy your way into the White House.
The only cnadidate telling the troot seems to be yer man Mr. Paul which probably explains why he’s in a poor third place.
Patrick, You’re half right about Ron Paul. As far as domestic issues go he is the only one who has the right ideas but he’s crazy when it comes to foreign issues. He is an isolationist.
Just be glad you don’t have a Santorum.
Mossy – True. I forgot to mention that. They nearly spend more on the elections than us Irish.
Patrick – Mine is just a general observation. I haven’t a clue who the hell is involved [nor do I really want to know]. The only reason I mentioned Mitt Romney is becasue he sounds like a highly contagious genital disease.
Brianf – But the whole of Merka is crazy when it comes to foreign issues. Anyway, most Merkans think that Foreign means Oregon.
Popeye – But we do. We have a few left over from the good old days of TB.
Aye but we have the Walking Dead
Nothing wrong with Mr.Paul’s foreign policy of recalling every american GI from the 3000 odd bases around the world.
You could then befriend Johny Foreigner and trade with him instead of fucking killing him.
Simples tsk.
Hate to say it, but I could not agree with Patrick Moore.
“Hate to say it, but I could not agree with Patrick Moore” That is an astronomical admission?
“Nothing wrong with Mr.Paul’s foreign policy of recalling every american GI from the 3000 odd bases around the world.
You could then befriend Johny Foreigner and trade with him instead of fucking killing him.
Simples tsk.”
They then might address the 45 or so million American Citizens living in poverty in the third world US.
When folks ask me what my hobby is and I tell them theoretical physics it kinda blows them away. At my age they expect me to say ‘gardening’ or ‘stamp collecting.’ The smart ones come back with something like “It’s as well because you clearly don’t have fucking a clue about what’s going on on Earth.” ‘Champion’ says I.
tt – Personally I like to work out various proofs of Fermat’s Last Theorem in my head. It’s better than a sleeping tablet. There’s nothing wrong with a drop of theoretical physics either. It’s a great conversation stopper down the pub.
I have to disagree with you about Americans being the loudest in the world. Regarding sound, the Spanish students that invade Ireland every year are by far the loudest. I still have nightmares of sharing a bus with them and having my brain overloaded with the noise from 20 or more them shouting at each other.
Pete – Fair point. I’d forgotten about the Spanish Invasion. However Americans do seem to spend an awful lot of time whooping and hollering?
It takes the insight of an outsider to see the “truth”. Too bad we can’t seem to realize that the best for the country is not always the “cleanest” or most God fearing. Spot on Grandad.
It’s a whooping and a hollering.
So you admit it then? 😉