↓
 

A case of retyrement

Head Rambles Posted on by

A few months ago, Spanner gave the car a once over.

When he was finished doing what he had to do on it, he dropped it back to me.

“Your tyres” he said.  Spanner can be infuriatingly laconic at times.

“What about ‘em?”

“They’re getting old.  They don’t meet the requirements.”

He pointed out that three of the tyres had fine hair cracks on them and the fourth was a little worn.  There was still plenty tread on them so I asked what he meant about requirements.  Apparently all tyres have to have some fucking symbol on them and mine didn’t.  I asked what the hell he was talking about and he told me that EU regulations demanded that all tyres have a particular symbol and that in future my car would fail the NCT if I didn’t have it.  I asked what would happen if the tyres were in perfect nick and he said it didn’t matter; that tyres were obliged to have the symbol.

Fucking EU and their fucking regulations.

A few weeks ago I noticed that the car was sitting on a flat tyre.

Bollox!

I pumped it up with the foot pump and it was fine.  I have driven many miles since then and the tyre behaved itself.

Yesterday it was flat again.

Bollox!

I hate intermittent faults and this was obviously an intermittent puncture.  It worried me as I intend to do a fair bit of driving in the next couple of weeks on very fast roads and in a country where I don’t speak the lingo.  I have also found through bitter experience that garages tend to be few and far between in France.  It was time to do something.  As all the tyres had to be replaced sooner or later I decided to go the whole hog and get them all replaced.

I brought the car into Skobieville, as Spanner doesn’t do tyres.  He says they are beneath his dignity.

I strode into the tyre place and asked for four of their best remoulds.

They told me they didn’t do remoulds any more, which is a damned shame as I have literally driven hundreds of thousands of miles on remoulds since I started driving.  They did the job, were a lot cheaper and I never had any problems with them.  I asked why not.

“EU regulations.  They have banned remoulds” says yer man behind the counter.

What the fuck is it about the EU?  Every fucking corner I turn I get some new fucking EU regulation rammed at me.  And it’s always something niggly and trivial. 

Are they deliberately trying to piss me off? 

They’re succeeding.

Shower of fucking cunts.

 

Comments

A case of retyrement — 21 Comments

  1. i just priced snow’s for my wee car, provincial regulations and all seasons really mean all seasons except winter
    i need to find 800 dollars to pull out of my butt…hope i have lube enough

  2. The problem with communism is that the rulers have too much power. The problem with the EU is that they have too much power.

  3. Speaking of rubber, have you ever seen the new e marks on the top of a condom? … No? ….I suppose you never rolled ’em out far enough! :-))

  4. Remoulds? I wouldn’t chance it. No way. I have heard too many cases of the tread separating. Unpleasant, I imagine, at 85 mph. I go with used tires. There are a few Mex places here that sell only used tires. Good for a year? $20. Could be a good business venture over there if you don’t have such places.

  5. I had that EU shite from the NCT a while back too GD. I had made sure the car was in top operating condition and was confident of its ‘pass’. Instead, I got the NCT Oilrag who told me in pidgeon with an East European accent ‘You haf no ‘E’ on de tyr, so fale’. ‘What?’ I said, ‘Whats an E?’. ‘E haf to b on tyr, it Eurrro rul’. ‘Jasus, I’ll get a marker and you can haf loads of the fuckers’, I said. ‘No, E haf to b stamp on der tyr lik udder tree’. My perfect tyre was probably made in the same fucking country as Oilrag. It had no Euro fucking ‘E’ stamp and was unacceptable, Bollox! I had to fork out €120 for a new one, bring the car back to another Oilrag, who gave the lot a cursory look, never checked the fucking ‘E’ and said ‘It pass’. I could have stuffed the bugger with the reject tyre. I had to get some ‘E’s to cool off.
    TYRE FOR SALE, slight wear, no ‘E’, cheap.

  7. Got me a va va voom, 12 year old, E300 merc estate, tyre size 215/55 R 16.
    For four new rubbers i’ve been quoted:
    Budget £270
    Perelli 600’s £545
    Dunlop £510
    Avon £480
    I’m drawn towards the AVONs because they’re V specified and apparently I can drive at 7 squillion mph (who gives a shit what that is in Kmph)
    Still at 26 miles to the gallon (diesel) it should piss tt right off.

  8. Hey Patrick,  I drive a Ford Explorer that only gets 20 miles to the gallon.  Not only is it a gas guzzler but it’s an SUV too!  That should raise tt’s blood pressure a bit.

  9. Cat – Fuck!  What the hell to you drive?  One of those earth-mover lorries?

    Ramrod – Never was a truer word said.

    Not Green – I wouldn’t know.  Never use ’em.  If a woman can’t look after herself etc etc etc.

    TT – I never had any problems whatsoever with remoulds.  And you can be fucking sure that the EU have written a whole book of laws against selling second hand tyres.

    Slab – Was that in the last few months?  I had mine checked in February [I think] and they mentioned that I didn’t have the mark, but that it wasn’t a failable offense yet.  I’m sure TT will buy your E-less tyre?

    Patrick – Now you’re just bragging.  I thought Avon did cosmetics? 

    Jayzus!  What’s this?  Have a Go at TT Day?  Heh!

  10. I get 17 mph (US gallons) about town, in the summer with the AC on, which equates to 21.25(to be pedantic) in Imperial gallons. So yiz can all fuck off.

  11. TT – Don’t ya mean 17mpg?  *cough*

    We seem to be all coming down with a dose of pendanticitis?

  14. Had my NCT day before yesterday. My 10 year old Saab passed, almost. He’d only give me the disk if I replaced three of the tyres. Ironically I had planned to do that next month.
    On the plus side I never actually liked the Firestones that were on it and the new ones have boosted my fuel usage. I was averaging 35.6mpg on the way to work. Now it’s up to 38.1.
    Still fecking miserable though. And now for my obligatory rant about the banks: I wanted to change for a diesel so I went about getting a mere €9000 from several banks. All told me to feck off that you have to be earning over €30k per year and have been with the same company for at least 3 years before even being considered.
    One of those banks was the one that gave me €16k to buy my current car almost 7 years ago. A loan that I paid off early too mind you.
    End Rant!

  15. GD, The NCT was about six months ago. The EU ‘E’ mark regulation must just have come into effect.
    TT can have the tyre at a good price. I’ll even throw in some E’s to go with it.

  17. Bankers is idiots init.
    They lend you money to buy car – make much wampum in interest charges, they loan money to car maker to make your car they again make mucho moolah in interest charges thereby greasin’ the cogs that make the world go round.
    No lendee money to you, no car makee, lay off car makee fella, bank go tits up cos no interest charges comin’ in. you got no car, no can go workee,  yiu get fecking mad and punch bankerman in the piehole.
    Banker is idiot init.
    Patrickonomics

  18. PH, If you speak the way you write, do you do the slanty eyes too? The Goons would have been envious.

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting
↑