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Research my arse

Head Rambles Posted on by

I see Dublin is to grind to a slower standstill than normal from next Monday.

They are introducing a 24 hour 30Kph speed limit throughout the city centre.

So if you happen to be driving through O’Connell Street at five in the morning, when there isn’t a sinner around, you still have to crawl at 30.  Fucking idiots!

One of the arguments for this is that research shows that 45% of pedestrians die when struck by a car at 50Kph but only 5% if hit at 30Kph.  Here we go again.  Some fuckwad has done some ‘research’ and we have to live with the consequences.

Actually, that research sounds interesting.  Did they get a couple of drivers to drive up and down O’Connell Street at varying speeds and then count the fatalities at the end of the day?  Are they going to do further research where they discover to their amazement that there are 0% fatalities when the car is doing 0Kph?  God help us if they do as that will then be the new speed limit.

Why can’t they do a little extra research?  Why don’t they discover that if the fucking pedestrians kept off the fucking road there would be no accidents? 

Who pays these ‘researchers’?  And more important – who decides what they ‘research’?  Who is paying for the UK ‘researchers’ who discovered ‘through research’ that the G-spot doesn’t exist?  And who pays the French ‘researchers’ who ‘through research’ say that it does? Mind you – I’m prepared to do that one for nothing.

Research has shown that survivors of fires can breath extremely hot smoke that is full of noxious gasses, yet can make a recovery and live a full life.  Yet research has shown that puffing quietly on a cool pipe is going to lead to a miserable, painful and imminent death.

Some of these projects baffle the imagination.  Who funded research that showed that cows with names produce more milk than cows that don’t?  For fuck’s sake!  And who funded research to discover which made the better weapon – a full beer bottle or an empty one?

I would propose a new research project; one that produces a lasting and beneficial result.

My project is to show that a world without researchers as a safer and saner place.

 

Comments

Research my arse — 22 Comments

  1. it would be interesting to take these research numbers and make a simulation game out of it: create a really very realistic variant of sim-city (for example) where there are speed limits, and people dying by being knocked down or inhaling noxious fumes or getting cancer, etc – include variables such as recessions, crime going up/down for various statistically known causes, population increases during recessions and booms, and all other sorts of stuff that we have numbers for.

    Then give the game out /for free/, and keep a leader-board of people that managed to build successful cities with few fatalities, yet happy people.

    Then, take the top ten people on that leader-board, and give them some government backing to implement their ideas in real life.
    .-= Kae Verens´s last brainfart .. what’s up! =-.

  2. A world without senseless people would be better….it would include researchers and get rid of a few other feckers! Peeeeerfect!

    Out of curiousity (and not cos it might come in hand), which did make the better weapon – a full beer bottle or an empty one?
    .-= Hermia´s last brainfart .. I have nothing to say… =-.

  3. We don’t have metric over here. It’s mph(miles per hour). I would imagine that kilometres per hour would be kph.
    So what is this kmph you are on about? Is 30kmph 30,000 miles per hour? Oh hang on. Is km kilometre? I guess that’s it.

  4. Kae – Feel free to develop the idea, but I want 50% royalties for the concept.  Oh, hang on.. for free?  Fucking idiot.  I take that back.  I’ll develop it myself and make my fortune.

    Hermia – An empty one.  Are you ready for this?  Here goes …….

    “The beer inside a bottle is carbonated, which means it exerts pressure on the glass, making it more likely to shatter when hitting something. Its propensity to shatter makes it less sturdy — and thus a poorer weapon — than an empty one.“

    and

    “Full bottles shatter at 30 joules, empties at 40, meaning both are capable of cracking open your skull. But empties are a third sturdier.“

    Now that you know, you can sleep easier at night.

  7. oh – and the Garda Síochana won an award for literature last year for that masterpiece they did about the notorious Polish criminal, “Prawo Jazdy”
    .-= Kae Verens´s last brainfart .. what’s up! =-.

  8. Heh!  Actually, I was browsing the New York Times, but it’s all the same.  The Gardaí deserved that prize though.  It was a classic!!

  10. Damnit, TT – now you have me confused.  I suppose Kph would strictly mean Kilo per hour, which doesn’t make much sense?  Km = Kilometer, so Kmph = Kilometers per hour?  Fuckit.  I’m not changing it back.  And you’re not a tosser.

  11. I’m with you on the fact that pedestrians wouldn’t get hit if they were smart enough to watch out for cars.

    Point in fact: Last night as I was coming home from work I was making a right hand turn onto my street and some STUPID WOMAN was standing off of the sidewalk, and to top it off she had a shopping trolley out in the street with her, so she was blocking half of the lane…she deserved to be ran over!

    But it is still not worse than the bicyclists that we have over here who think they are cars…

  12. Shannon – I think the worst are those women who push their baby-buggies [with baby inside] out into the traffic to cross the road.  What the fuck are they thinking???  Cyclists in the main deserve all they get.  They just ignore everyone and everything, so motorists should ignore the fact that there is one in the way?

  15. When did you last manage to get up to 30 km/h in the city centre? The place is a nightmare. They are determined to kill off the last remaining business with lunatic traffic schemes and car parking at over €3 per hour.

  16. Ian – I don’t drive in the city any more.  Life is too short.  Anyway, I wouldn’t know my way around now with their BusGates and shite like that.

  17. I told you yesterday. Pay attention willya? It’s Aussie for Yank. Septic tank. Seppo for short. I first heard the expression used in a brilliant 1997 movie called ‘Welcome to Woop Woop’ which I warmly recomend if you haven’t seen it.Rod Taylor still going strong. He just played Churchill in ‘Inglorious Basterds.’

  18. I was going down a nice empty street on Monday night and the guy in the MPV behind me kept ringing his bell.

  20. I’d just like to compliment Kae Varens on the first comment on this particular blog post, Groandad.

    Its quite possibly the best idea I’ve ever seen which includes game theory, technology and contains a heavy strand of meritocracy.

    The only thing I would add is that it might undercut democracy in that the danger would be that a new ‘elite’ would emerge and humans who form this opinion of themselves quite often turn nasty.

    I would add that the top ten in that situation should stand for election against traditional-route candidates at all times. That means the voter would retain power in a democracy.

    Cracking idea… great piece of lateral thinking if Kae doesn’t mind my saying…

  21. Tell me quango, quango, quango. Fuckwits sit in offices. Must justify salary. Paid by taxpayer. I just found out that we spend 40million pa on the road safety authority.
    Now you tell me that the Corpo (is it still the Corpo?) is also spending money on road strangulation.
    Thanks be to god I never visit that kip. Not the same since I left it in the 70’s. Wasn’t a kip then.
    .-= kerryview´s last brainfart .. Suicide is Cheaper than Death by Car Crash =-.

  22. tt – think you’ll find that it’s ‘recommend’, not ‘recomend’. 😀

    (If Grandad’s told you that already I’m sorry (and disgusted), but I practically raced down the page ignoring all other posts in my eagerness to tell you.)
    .-= Arhonda Bend´s last brainfart .. Beautiful Clonmel =-.

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