I’m in a really foul mood today.

But why, I hear you ask, should someone with such a sunny disposition be in a foul mood?

Loads of reasons.

It started this morning when I went looking for a fresh pair of socks.  I wasn’t looking for a matching pair of socks – I haven’t seen one of them since 2003.  No.  I was looking for two socks that were at least roughly the same size and roughly the same material.  I feel strange wearing a knee length woollen sock on one foot a nylon stocking on the other.  It just isn’t right.  I eventually found a reasonably matched pair that are roughly the same size and both are wool.  Incidentally, I think lime green and red look quite well together?

Then the guinea pigs started to annoy me.

Minnie is still annoying the fuck out of me and Fizz.  She’s still demanding a good ride off Fizz and Fizz is getting rather pissed off with her.  The incessant whirring is getting on both our nerves.  I wrote to the vet about my little problem.  Normally he is an excellent vet, but by way of reply, he just sent me a recipe for Honey Roast Guinea Pig.  Lazy bastard.

Then there’s the Bug.

The fucking thing just will not go away, and it is irritating the hell out of me.  My head is still all fuzzed up so when I sit down to write something, my brain just says “bleagh!” and the words don’t come.  I have loads of things to write about but a very uncooperative head. On top of that, the medicinal whiskey is costing me a fortune.  A bottle a day soon eats into the old pension, and at this rate, I’m going to have to revert to the home brew stuff that Pullit keeps under the counter, but that is only really good for cleaning drains.

And I’m cold.

Fuckit!

I have just realised I have to go down to the village, even though I don’t feel like it.

I have to buy some honey.