One for the birds
They’re at it again.
Those damned magpies are really irritating with their clacking alarm calls. They see a cat or something and start off, and I swear that this attracts more magpies who flock in to add to the alarm clacking. If they don’t like cats then why don’t they fuck off to another parish that’s cat free?
In general, I like birds. It’s a bit like my attitude to dogs – most are fine but a small number are a waste of space. In particular I’m not that taken with the bigger birds as they tend to be bullies, with maybe the exception of the heron.who is a harmless idiot. And don’t talk to me about rooks! They are ugly fuckers and would clear the bird table in one meal. The area here is infested with them but fortunately they generally steer clear as the bird table is at Herself;s window and for their size they are remarkable cowards.
All winter I am careful [at great expense] to keep the bird table topped up with seed and other little treats. The birds welcome this and respond by nesting on the estate. As a result we get a grand supply of birds singing their heads off in spring when they all get randy and house nest proud.
This spring one of the blackbirds took to singing at the top of the tree nearest the back door. Others sang from other trees but the one I considered as “mine” was constant and beautiful,
I have noticed in the last few years that there are a lot more magpies around. I don’t like magpies. They are bullies and like to rob nests which defeats my purpose of putting out food. They look fine in their black and white plumage but I’m not impressed. They are cheeky fuckers too and now seem to think they own my estate.
Last week I was sitting here when there was a loud bang. I knew what it was as it’s not an unusual event – a bird had flown into the window. Immediately a magpie flew down and I suspect it was chasing the other bird into a panic. I went outside and discovered a motionless blackbird on the terrace. The magpie was already feasting on the corpse [at least I hope it was a corpse and not still alive]. It was a rather disgusting site, but I left him to it as nature is nature after all. My opinion of magpies took a further plunge.
I haven’t heard my blackbird since. I have a horrible suspicion that it was the victim.
I have declared an all out war against magpies.
I had a colleague who had served in the Grenadier Guards who would salute a magpie every time he saw one!
“One for sorrow” and all that. He would have a very hard time if he lived here as he’s be in permanent salute. As a kid I used to greet them. Now I just tell them to fuck off.
I’ve never seen one of those where I live. Maybe more populated in the western US? ♀️ If it’s a bully bird though it can stay the hell away from my yard. In summer I feed Hummingbirds and pretty songbirds. It’s always a battle with the annoying bully birds
I checked and apparently my flavour of magpie never managed to cross The Pond. You have a different version which hopefully will have a better attitude to life.
Magpies = flying orcas.
Magpie: crow in a sharp suit.
They are smart though Grandad. We heard a racket at the bottom of our garden years ago, loads of small birds chirping in what sounded like excitement. When we went to look, there were loads of sparrows, blue tits etc (at least 30, possibly more), all as high in the canopy as possible. Below them, much lower, and in complete silence was a magpie, carefully monitoring a cat that was a few steps behind it. Every time the cat moved, the magpie enticed it further and further up the tree. This went on for half an hour or so until the cat was on tiny branches that were much too small for it, where one eventually broke, and the cat fell (with no apparent harm). The audience of small birds were there the whole time calling their support. It was amazing to watch. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a video camera at the time.
Never underestimate avian intelligence! The magpies are up to something on the roof right over my head. I see one fly up there and this is followed by some serious banging or something, like he’s hammering nails into the roof. I know blackbirds frequently smash snails’ shells on the step outside the door here but the magpie is making too much noise for a mere shell. By the time I get to see what he’s at, he is gone.
I remember in past years when we had a cat, the magpies used to torment the poor thing by swooping down over it’s head until it ran for cover. Bastards!