Day four of The Siege.
Things are starting to happen. I heard noise of heavy machinery when I woke.
Later on I checked my security camera as that is the only way I can see out onto the lane from the house unless I go upstairs and climb out onto the garage roof. Sure enough, there was some very heavy artillery parked outside my gate. I couldn’t see exactly what it was due to the camera angle but it was big and yellow [why is heavy plant nearly always yellow?]. There was also a lot of clanging and banging in the air and it sounded like the place was being dug up by the heavy excavator. At last.
At lunchtime I took a mosey out onto the lane as the noise had stopped and the lads were obviously on their break. The lane looked as it had always looked – as virginal as it has been for the last God knows years. The only difference was that the cone has disappeared. There wasn’t any sign of machinery either.
There were a couple of lads wandering around. I got chatting to one of them. Sure enough – foreign! He was a grand chatty type and I admired their lack of work. Next, the Gaffer walked over. “Do you want to park out” says he. I said I wasn’t bothered. He said no sweat and that they wouldn’t be digging up the lane until Monday anyway. These lads work fast.
I asked how long the lane would be impassable. “Ah”, says he, “you’ll be running out of milk and bread”. Not at all says I, having stocked up. I said I was more concerned about pharmaceuticals. I pointed out that at my age they were more important than milk or bread. The lads laughed. “Listen” says the Gaffer “if yiz want to get out at any time, we’ll get yiz out. No sweat”.
I noticed they had discovered my water meter thing out on the lane that we had covered over a couple of years ago. “You found my meter” says I, by way of conversation. “Yup” says the Gaffer “and it’s still working”. I pulled the blue hose out of the hedge and showed him the end of it. “All you have to do is connect that to your water supply” says he. I told him I couldn’t be arsed as I was already connected. Fair enough.
I’m a little disappointed.
After all my preparations, I won’t be isolated after all.
At least I’ll be able to collect all my monthly pills next week