Possibly under siege
And so it begins.
My exciting day started early. I’m not quite sure why but I woke and decided I might as well get up.
The first thing I discovered was that the power was gone. Fucking Debi! I made my mug of tea by boiling a saucepan on the emergency camping stove. Lack of tea in the morning constitutes an emergency.
To my stunned amazement I heard the sound of machinery out on the lane. The Council had actually arrived? All right, they were a couple of hours late but I’m staggered they turned up at all. I left them to it.
Eventually the power came back, just in time to make a second mug of tea. Thank you Electricity Ireland [or whatever you call yourselves these days]. It’s nice that someone appreciates my needs.
I decided to check if there was any progress on the lane but discovered the wind had blown my CCTV camera off alignment and I couldn’t see over the gate. Well, they did warn last night that there was a danger of fatalities at the height of the storm, but luckily my camera was still operating. I realigned it.
Seeing as I was in the front garden I thought I would stick my head out the gate and check progress and to see what all the noise was about. The lane looked like it always looked but there was indeed a cone placed just up the lane. Just one cone, sitting there like a lost child. Wow! They have been busy.
I realised then that the noise was actually coming from the main road. There was a tanker lorry out there with its long hose stuck down a manhole. I don’t know what they were doing. Sucking sewage out? Pumping sewage in? I’m sure they possibly knew what they were doing so didn’t bother offering my services.
The wind has suddenly died down and the sludge-sucker has disappeared.
It’s eerily quiet.
The real calm before the storm?
The Cooncil department of High Visibility Warning Artifacts have to report to the Cooncil Coordinating Section that after completing the required risk assesment procedure, the appropriate EU approved circular, vertically tapered, eco-friendly, recyclable artefact has been positioned.
After checking the received message for systemic, rashishm, hate, all the “phobias” , “isms” ect. the message will be passed on to the Operational Task Dimensional Limitation Department who will send out a team, one to wield the yellow paint spray can, and four to stop traffic while the outline of the hole to be dug is marked in dayglo paint. They will then report to the Cooncil Coordinating Section.
I can not be arsed going on, but you get the gist.
You are probably right. Whatever they are at there is little sign of any movement or progress. A JCB reversed down the lane this afternoon which was the height of our excitement.
Re: The Sludge Gulper. Never put a dead chicken down yer septic tank. It bungs up the sludge gulper hose.
[Trust me in this, a former chicken keeper]
PS: Windy Debi has made for a fine blustery day here in Blighty too. We loved it, especially Muffin. Much barking 🙂
Why in the name of all that’s holy would I flush a dead chicken down the jax? Is this a religious thing or something kinky?
“Storm” Debi was a bit of a let-down here – 12 hours of a 25 knot wind and a bit of rain.* But these westerly storms are all the same, you lads have all the goodness out them and all we get here on the Lincolnshire coast is a smell of Guinness, Condor pipe tobacco, and a few of Bill Sticker’s bees. (You can tell ’em from the Irish number plates.)
Speaking of which, you’ll remember the old ones? What eejit thought that black numbers on dark red was a good idea?
*Don’t worry if you missed it there’ll be another along in a day or two.
Welcome Disappointed! There wasn’t that much fun here either. It was a little windy and a spot of rain but it passed very quickly. Nothing to write home about. The West did get hammered though. However we have fun days ahead [apparently] according to a headline yesterday – “Ireland facing ‘conveyor belt’ of storms through winter following Debi“!