I hate those Dark Web lists.
These are the lists of verified active email lists that are sold on the Dark Web to spammers.
Somehow, in the middle of October, just four weeks ago my Rambles address got onto one of those lists. I have always been very careful to avoid this nasty event. I receive lots of mails with the typical “You must see this” type of link that proclaims that it is some amazing yoke that scientists, governments or doctors don’t want you to see as it’s an incredible cure for erectile dysfunction, dementia, warts or whatever. The links always have a long string of characters in the target link which is a sure sign the only thing they want is for you to click the link. Bingo! You’re a verified email address. I can only assume I have surfaced as the result of a hacked database somewhere.
Anyhows, my normally quiet Rambles address has suddenly become very active.
I am getting notifications from suppliers of LED lighting, steel beams, automatic teller machines and various other offers from Chinese suppliers wanting to know if I want to purchase their products for my business. These offers are scattered through the usual offers to “grow my member by an astounding six inches” [do women get these mails too?] and offers of Ukrainian Hot Babes all dying to have sex with me.
I just did a quick glance through my Trash folder and what astounded me is that in the last four weeks I have been notified 523 times that I have been recorded “pleasuring myself”, “bashing the bishop”, “tugging the todger” or generally having a wank while watching porn on my laptop.
523 wanks in four weeks? That’s around 19 a day, every day. Holy God! That is some fucking libido? I must be knackered. It’s a wonder I have any strength left. It can’t be good for the heart either.
Maybe I should order myself a Ukrainian Hot Babe and do the job properly?