I just received a phonecall.
This was unusual to say the least as no one phones me normally.
It was a very nice girl who I can only assume was of Indian sub-continent origin. Her origin didn’t bother me as I am as tolerant as the next man [assuming the next man is a racist bigot?], but her command of the speech was a little tricky to understand. She tended to speak in syllables, not words so it took some mental translations. Also she spoke very quickly.
Anyways, the gist of what she was saying, or trying to say, was that there was suspicious activity in my bank account. Apparently money was being withdrawn as we spoke, and she actually gave me some figures that had been transferred into Paypal and Revolut. Rather strangely the amounts she quoted meant that they had already managed to withdraw far more than I actually had which was clever. It’s strange that I can’t even do that and it’s my account.
She offered me a safe account where I could transfer the remains of my account which was now heavily overdrawn. How do you transfer negative amounts? That’s something I never tried before. It would be a great way of clearing loans – transfer the amount owed into a foreign bank and then deny all knowledge?
At some point she asked me a question. I wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted though I suspected it was my account number. Or did she want me to write down my new account number that she had just created. I was too embarrassed to ask her to repeat as that would imply I hadn’t been listening. I hadn’t.
So I thanked her very politely for bringing this heinous crime to my attention and ended the call. If my account is empty then so be it. It’s payday at the end of the week, so that’s fine.
Funny she never mentioned which bank I’m with?