Creating a stink
The floor here looks strange.
If anyone came in they would either think it has snowed in here, or else we had had one hell of a party with coke strewn all over the carpet. However it is one line of coke I would not like to snort.
I have taken to laying down layers of bicarbonate of soda. I sprinkle it liberally all over the bedroom and living room carpets and today it’s the turn of the carpet in the South Wing. It looks a right mess but it does the job magnificently.
One of the small problems with an incontinent dog is that she tends to pee all over the place. I spend my time mopping up puddles and lakes so I get through vast quantities of kitchen paper. I had a grocery delivery yesterday and the delivery bloke commented on the number of rolls of kitchen paper I had ordered. “Incontinent dog” I said and he laughed very sympathetically.
However kitchen paper only goes so far when it comes to lakes on a carpet. The residue festers away in the carpet and eventually produces an almighty stench. It is hard to describe but I would imagine it is akin to a body decaying in a septic tank. The air shimmers with it. It is fucking rank.
I then discovered the joys of bicarbonate of soda. It works brilliantly. I sprinkle it all over the floor, leave it for a few hours and then whack out the Dyson. I alternate this treatment with carpet shampooing.
An incontinent dog is a lot of hard work.
You really love that bitch.
If only we could all receive the same care as we go into that good night.
Rage, rage.
You are a lovely man.
I do love the bitch [both of them]. She has the strangest personality of any dog I have known. She is full of weird little quirks and routines and is quite the most loyal and trusting animal. I have never seen her wag her tail and she tends to show affection by poking us with her nose. I frequently get a little poke on the back of my leg when I’m standing in the kitchen just to let me know she’s there.
Intrigued by the phrase “whack out the Dyson”. Is that some colloquial Irish euphemism for self-pleasure? Sounds like it. If it isn’t, it should be.
Haha! It is now officially a euphemism.
I seem to recall that someone altered a Hoover pipe for that very reason, MudP!
I’m sure our dog pops one out most nights, or the marks on the carpet are from my muddy boots, but no end of shampooing ever gets rid of it!
“Honestly doctor, I accidentally fell down the stairs while naked and happened to land on the Hoover nozzle.”
‘Domestic’ Sodium bicarbonate is only available in small quantities and is relatively expensive. Can one buy less refined sb in larger quantities – have you investigated?
It’s cheap enough and the local shop sells it. I suppose I could order larger quantities elsewhere but is it worth the bother?