26,664 slices of toast — 9 Comments

  1. They must have a Standard, ISO, slice of bread. Initial brownness, staleness, initial temperature.
    I see a multitude of international committees criss-crossing the world to thrash out this tricky problem, normalising all the nan, rye, soda, wholemeal, mealie, roti, tattie scone, muffin, man’ouche, corn, pumpernickle, challah, khachapuri, baguette, ……I could go on.
    For sure this needed many international conferences in many world capitals.
    And an Internationally defined final level of “brownness”. (On dear.I seem to have strayed into a controversial area. Is black toast baad? But then baad is the new good. So confusing.)
    Of course, this the amount of toast you would get it you lived right next to a turbine.
    Every kilometre of lossy copper (Other metals are available.) between the turbine and you means less toast and more warm feet for the starlings roosting on on that copper. (Other metals……)
    Tell me I am wrong.

    • They do actually provide details – “Based on a 900w Kenwood 2 slice toaster”. Presumably if you own a different brand [as I do] you’re fucked.

  2. It’s quite common to see bird mincers mince when there isn’t any wind. When I see these things turning, I always look at any vegetation close by to see what it’s doing. Often nothing.

    Then (if I’m not in my car) I have a quick look at the weather to see what the wind speed is (usually an approximate figure can be found).

    I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not the actual wind that makes them go round but the effects of the earth moving through the luminiferous aether.

    It has to be.

    • The monstrous irony is that, in order to protect delicate bearings when the wind isn’t strong enough to keep the blades of blatant bullshit turning, they reverse the mechanism and use precious electricity to keep those futile windmills spinning round. Green or what? As with most things in the Net-Zero and climate-change fantasy world, you couldn’t make it up.
      One day, some small innocent child will point out that the emperor isn’t actually wearing any clothes.

  3. I see that between 2230 last Saturday and 0030 on Sunday the power being produced was negative (max of -4mW at 1115). Did the turbines need their electric blankets switched on or do they have own on board tosters?

  4. I think the windmills spin in no wind to save the bearings theres enormous weight on them, might be a thing called brinelling, you can turn an alternator into a motor just put current through it. Regards robbo

  5. That little information screen didn’t actually mention where the energy to bake all the bread that was subsequently turned into toast came from either! Or to transport it/ harvest the grain/ etc. etc. etc.

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