Verbal garbage
I wasn’t watching the news last night.
It was on the television all right but I had de-clutched my brain to let the head into freewheel mode. So I wasn’t really listening except in a sort of indifferent, abstract way.
There was some “Minister” or other being interviewed. I think it was something to do with farmers, or the EU, or something. What did strike me was the ability of a politician – any politician – to talk an amazing load of shite without really saying anything. His speech was full of hesitations and repetitions. Never use one word where a dozen will do. Obfuscate, deny, promise or in fact say anything other than the answer to the question.
Is this a natural inborn ability or do they train somewhere? In their candidacy interview does a short concise answer instantly eliminate their chances?
I notice there is an actual format to their answers. First of all, the problem isn’t a problem. In the event of it possibly being a problem then it’s someone else’s fault – usually the EU or the predecessors in power. If possible, blame climate change. Of course something is going to be done, usually involving the setting up of a committee or study group or something. Something can’t be done now as it would breach EU rules, or would require a change in the law.
What it all boils down to is a) I haven’t a clue what the answer is, b) we are addressing the non-existent problem in the future and c) it’s someone else’s fault. This simple response must be delivered in a minimum of 800 irrelevant words in not less than five minutes. Bonus points are given with a mention of global warming and/or the war in Ukraine.
I half watched the bloke in admiration. I still haven’t a fucking clue what he was on about. It was patently obvious he hadn’t a clue either.
And these are the people that run the country?
It’s no wonder we’re fucked.
You’re absolutely right Grandad. A politician’s, any politician’s, genius at not answering the question must be a well practiced art. I’m pretty sure they get classes on it. They frequently answer a completely different question I’ve noticed, or quickly divert into a long list of what they have done in other areas. Absolutely anything in fact, except answer the question they were asked. Personally, I think they should be given three chances to answer properly, if not their seat should be hinged to dump them, game show style, into a heap of excrement, because that is what they are talking! 🙁
There are a couple of great reporters/newsreaders here in Ireland. One in particular would ask a politician a question. The politician would then ramble off on some topic of his own [that would make the party sound good]. Reporter then with a straight face will say “That’s not the question I asked”, before repeating the question. Politician then heads off on another tangent [probably knocking the opposition parties]. Reporter sighs and interrupts with “You’re still not answering the question” before repeating it. This carries on until the politician blusters out some feeble answer or else they run out of time. It actually makes for good television!
“I’m pretty sure they get classes on it”
They’re told to watch some episodes of “Yes Minister” & “Yes Prime Minister”…
Q – How do know when a politician is lying?
A – When you see their lips move!
here is a simple method of deciphering a political speech – just believe the polar opposite of their declarations. If they say something is so, then it definitely isn’t.
Nothing new. Back in the 1960s, a former pupil of my grammar school, who at that time was UK Minister of Defence, returned to give a talk to senior pupils on the subject of ‘Politics’. After an hour he had told us absolutely nothing, certainly nothing we didn’t already know, thus fulfilling his calling of speech without content.
We had been asked to prepare questions for a Q&A, all of which were vetted by the Head in advance, my proposed question passed vetting so I was listed to ask it. When my turn came round, I stood up and asked a completely different question, exposing a topic of current embarrassment to his government – he bullshitted a completely vacant answer of drivel, to unsuppressed derision from the assembled pupils. Immediately after the speaker left, I was summoned to the Head’s office to answer for my transgression – what a surprise. Seemed we didn’t have freedom of speech even then.
Brilliant. I would love to have been there. One thing I have noticed in panel debates – if you have the gunmint and the opposition on a question and answers panel random question from the audience will solicit bullshit from the gubmint side and a logical and lucid answer from the opposition. The solution is simple – the opposition should always be the ones in power!
Please listen to Peter Sellers doing his Party Political Speech. YouTube has recordings.
I first heard this from an L.P. played on Dansette record player. It made I laugh.
Haha!! Found it. How times haven’t changed….
Margaret Thatcher, when asked a relevant question, would frequently reply ” well the question you mean to ask was ..”
In other words “The question I want to answer [and for which I am prepared] is….”