Intolerance
They say that intolerance comes with age.
Bollocks!
Quite honestly I am more tolerant now than I used to be. If I get stuck behind a slow driver, or even worse, behind someone who stops for a chat with a pedestrian I am happy to sit it out, where in the past I would have been furious. By the nature or life here at the Manor I have developed levels of patience I never knew I had in me.
But there is one thing that still gets on my wick – footballs!
During the Dark Times when I lived in Suburbia there was a blank wall opposite the house. Kids regularly congregated there kicking a football at the wall. I don’t know what it is about the sound of a ball being kicked and the thump, bounce, kick but I found it very irritating. Was it my disregard for football in general? Was it just the aimless nature of it? Was it the monotonous repetition? I don’t know why I got so riled, but I did. I didn’t mind kids kicking tin cans around but footballs? Fuck off!
I hadn’t heard that irritating sound for years – not since we moved here. There’s a lad up the lane who is on some football team but his exercise consisted of running up and down the lane each evening. A nice lad but very shy..
A couple of days ago the sound started. Someone has a football! And they were back kicking it off what sounded like a wooden gate. It was somewhere on the road as no one with any sense would try kicking a ball on the lane – too many potholes and lumpy surfaces. So it definitely wasn’t my gate.
I do get a tad annoyed at those cunts up the valley who roar down the road on their motorbikes with megaphone exhausts but that’s as much their speed as anything – they tend to scream past at full revs. Don’t they know there are Grandkids around? That’s a minor but fleeting annoyance.
Yappy dogs don’t bother me any more, surprisingly. That’s just as well as they have one next door. In fact my two neighbours have three yappers in total between them but two of them are remarkably quiet.
But that bouncing football?
Why can’t they fuck off to the playing field just down the road?
Oi lived in the real cow country.
Nothing improves your driving skills like coming to a blind corner and finding a good slick of cow shit, or using the polite term, slurry, on the bit of corner not seen until you are steering into the corner.
No real country dweller minds the smell of cow shit or horse shit. The killer is pig shit.
But, why not get a friendly farmer to have an “accidental” spillage on the corner nearest to your mansion. Water companies get away with it.I
That will sort out the boy racers. A good jaggy thorn hedge also helps.
That is a damn good idea. There’s a sharp twist in the road on the way down which would be perfect for a drop of oil. There’s even a large solid granite wall to receive them… 😈
As a “retired” (got too old) Harley rider I found that that wet leaves is also a good solution for boy racers on their “rice rockets” during the Fall–especially on curves. Wet leaves were to be avoided at all costs for the more savvy riders (who never go blasting around anywhere).
I have actually had a slight rethink. Those boy racers all have one thing in common – the Greens would hate them. An enemy of my enemy is my friend?
Yup, I’m pretty tolerant these days, except when I hear idiots with little cars and huge exhausts and their windows open playing (c)rap at full volume!
I have yet to discover the “tune” they play. It sounds like pure bass giving a rapid boom, boom, boom beat. I console myself with the thought of the years of tinnitus they have to look forward to.