I suppose everyone has seen that hilarious thing from Oxfam?
It is so Woke that it even has the Woke confused and amused.
For example the words “elderly” and “senior” are out as I might be offended by them and their reminder that I’m getting on in years. Instead I am to be referred to as an “elderly person” which presumably contradicts itself. I’ll be offended by “elderly” but won’t be offended by “elderly person”. If you can see the logic in that then you’re a better man than I, Gunga Din.
Probably the best one they came up with is that English is a reminder of a colonial past. Are we therefore not to speak English [overlooking the fact that their little tome is written in – you’ve guessed it – English]? Everyone who passes by this little corner of the Web is going to be offended by the language I use? I grant that some people have commented of my “language” but I think they’re referring to something other than the general use of English.
Actually I am one of those who is supposed to be offended. After all, my native tongue is Irish but that was beaten out of us centuries ago by the colonial English. My ancestors were forced to use the tongue whether they liked it or not. Do I bear a grudge? Am I constantly resentful at the very language I use? No. That’s ancient history and no Englishman has tried to colonise me in my lifetime.
It does cross my mind the odd time when I describe my language as English yet I am not English. There seems to be an opinion abroad that in fact the Irish speak English better than the English themselves, hence the annoying influx of continental yoof that descend on us each summer to learn the lingo. Maybe I should describe my native tongue as Irlish? That has the benefit of declaring my nationality and also pissing off the English.
Of course Americans think they speak English but their language is different also. Why does my spell checker insist on trying to get me to use American English? I have for years tried to get it to spell correctly [colonize? For fucks sake!] They should call their language Amish. There again there is already an Amish mob who refer to non-Amish as English which confuses things even more as they in fact are Americans.
Anyhows, I hope you all can understand my Irlish?
And I hope you’re not all offended by it?