We have a new leader.

No. No elections or anything like that. It’s a convenient “arrangement” to keep the pigs snuffling at the trough.

Essentially we have three political parties here in Ireland. Sinn Féin, Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael – usually referred to as SF, FF and FG because people get tired of typing their names. There are a few others, like Labour, the Greens, a couple of tiny parties and Independents but they account for a small minority of seats.

SF, FF and FG have been around for the last hundred years or so. SF are generally avoided as for a long time they were the political wing of the IRA which might give a clue as to their core beliefs That’s a little cloud over their heads which they happily ignore [and deny]. This leaves FF and FG.

For my entire lifespan either FF or FG have ruled. They are supposed to be bitter enemies [something to do with the Civil War a hundred years ago] and one or the other always wins power. For the last couple of decades neither has achieved a majority so we therefore ended up with a coalition led by either FF or FG. The interesting thing is that the smaller parties that help out with these coalitions invariably get thrashed at the next election. Labour and the Greens fell into that trap and were decimated. The Progressive Democrats were so soundly whipped that they no longer exist.

At the last election something unexpected happened. SF soared in the count and could even have been the largest party only they didn’t run enough candidates. FF and FG were in a quandary – neither could get enough independents and small parties to join with them.

Then the unthinkable happened.

FF and FG went into coalition with the help of the Greens. The avowed intention was to do anything to keep SF out.

I should explain that FF and FG, despite their mutual dislike have always had just about identical agendas. They are different only in name. Two cheeks of the same arse.

So FF and FG have finally coalesced and made a grand little arrangement between themselves – FF would rule for two years and then FG would take the reins. That’s what happened today – Switchover Day. This ensures that they all qualify for tidy little pensions, not to mention fat salaries. The only fly in the ointment as far as they were concerned was that they had to let the Greens tag along to make up the numbers. The Greens promptly grabbed Environment and Transport which has led to some pretty daft ideas all designed to save the planet.

The future does not look rosy. Having joined, are FF and FG ever going to split and go back to their old sniping? They have both declared that neither will even think of going into power with SF which means they will have to remain together. This would ensure that they had a grand chance of winning every election in the future.

The only alternative is a SF government. They have been coming up on the rails and are now the biggest party in the opinion polls. Doubtless they have learned from their past mistake and will run tons of candidates.

The Arse Coalition or SF?

We’re fucked.