I have a “thing” about Christmas cards.

I don’t know what my “thing” is though. They are inoffensive things. I like receiving them all right and already they are starting to arrive.

It’s the writing bit that gets me. I somehow feel that “Happy Christmas from Granny and Grandad” is a tad abrupt. I have this nonsensical idea of all my recipients meeting, up, comparing notes and declaring I’m a mass-producing heartless twat. It’s nonsense I know and the vast majority of the cards I receive [i.e. two or three – nobody loves me] have that identical message, though they tend to use their own names.

Apart from the message writing, there is the pain of finding addresses. I used to have an address book but that’s long lost. I usually find addresses by looking up the phonebook which is handy enough online…. except that the bastards have taken down the website. What the fuck? I can only assume that if we want to find an address we have to phone Directory Inquiries at a very expensive premium rate. Cunts. Luckily I’m a hoarder [you never know when something will come in handy] so I have the last actual phonebook from ten or so years ago.

Of course I also have to search through rip.ie where I increasingly find I don’t need to send a card this year.

I’m half way through my list. I have the cards. I even have the envelopes that go with them and yesterday I bought the stamps. All I have to do is write the messages and address the envelopes. Easy. So why do I find it difficult? I’m baffled.

And my handwriting has gone to shite these days.