On going senile
I have been musing on the topic of senility.
No, I’m not senile yet, or rather I hope I’m not. I have had quite a few “senior moments” but I put them down to absent mindedness rather than full blown gaga.
I reckon that senility has had a rather bad press over the years. We are led to believe that losing our marbles as we age is a bad thing; something to be dreaded and avoided at all costs [though they don’t actually tell you how to avoid it]. But is it so bad? I would imagine it’s bad enough for the family and friends, having to cope with someone who is totally unpredictable, but is it so bad for the “victim”?
I think it would have distinct advantages. Should I be so labelled, I could get away with murder. Well, maybe not murder but a lot of little indiscretions. I could do pretty much what I liked around the village and they would just shrug and give me pitying glances and maybe the offer of a lift home so I couldn’t cause any more bother.
So why not try a bit of senility just to see how things pan out? I could wander up to someone and ask them if they’re my mother / father / brother / sister or whatever? I could stand in the middle of the coffee shop and ask if anyone has seen my car [I know I left it around here somewhere]. Maybe I could have a satisfying pee into the flowerbed at the bus stop? I’m sure I could come up with a few acts that would cause an aura of pity around me. Once the idea had sunk in that I had finally lost it I would be free to try helping myself to a few items from the shops and forgetting to pay for them. I could wander into the pub, order a pint and then spark up the pipe [though I doubt I could do that more than once]. Just to confuse things I could ask the barman to charge me in real money and not that silly Euro thing.
It could be fun, though it would involve a lot of care to avoid being locked up in a padded room for my own safety.
Of course if it didn’t work out as expected I could just revert back to absent mindedness?
If I remember how, of course.
If you have not already, read “Warning” by Jenny Joseph. I see you as the male equivalent.
The other thing is thinking aloud when looking at people. Much like a toddler.
Mummy, why is that woman so fat? Mummy that man smells funny. Mummy, who was that nice man you kissed?
I’m ahead of the game there. I frequently have conversations with the dog while walking.
A bit of senility is no bar nowadays to holding the highest office.
I can think of a couple straight away who are way past the point of senility.
Just remember
See the happy senile.
He doesn’t give a damn.
I wish I were a senile
My God, perhaps I am!
Good one!
GD you really think this is a joke I am surprised at you.
I have looked after two family members over the last 10 yrs, who have this nasty thing.
They’ve died, but at least they didn’t know what was going on in the end, TG.
Third paragraph, last sentence.
Have you never heard of whistling past the graveyard?
I reside in another country so i feel safe in writing this. I’m 80, a business owner for 60 years, and am now having fun pretending I’m senile while dealing with the state tax people. They now forgive everything I do “wrong”. I’m in non compliance with everything they demand, including using a computor to file. “computer?????my compute?? Never been much of a commuter. Business is real close here, i think”
I can see myself writing that opener:
I have been musing on the topic of senility.
No, I’m not senile yet, or rather I hope I’m not.
I have been musing on the topic of senility.
Did I not just say that?
Where was I?
Thing is, it’s not completely a joke in my case.