Where rivers flow uphill
The land around here isn’t exactly level.
This may be down to being up in the mountains and it’s not surprising that in heavy rain, water tends to flow around a bit. It’s something to do with gravity or something.
So I live at the lower end of the lane which means that rainwater tends to flow down the lane and into my garden. My gravel driveway is therefore an alluvial plain and a very fertile one at that. There aren’t many who have to drive a mower over their gravel to make it passable.
Some time back, some genius thought it would be a great idea to put drains into the lane to take the water away. This would have been a great idea but for the fact that they placed the drains at strategic spots where the surface was highest. As a result the rainwater politely flowed around and past the drains and continued to swamp my driveway.
Over the years, water continued to flow, my gate pillars continued to rot, my gravel continued to disappear under a sea of mud and the drains gradually filled up with dust and gravel. It soon reached the point where the drains were barely visible as they had filled to the brim with dirt. In fact, on one of their pathetic attempts to fill all the potholes the council actually surfaced over one of the drains outside my gate, mistaking it for a pothole.
Today there is a fierce commotion out on the lane. I poked my head out to see what the fuck the noise was about. I had a really good laugh. They are unblocking the drains!
There is a dirty great lorry parked blocking the entrance to the lane. There are “men at work” signs warning anyone driving down the lane that there are men working. I would have thought that a big council lorry blocking the lane was indication enough but you can’t be too careful? I got chatting to one of the lads who was wandering around. He had opened the drain nearest my gate and was poking things into it. I couldn’t resist! I pointed out that it was at a high point and water will just flow around it. He scratched his head but replied that it wasn’t his problem. I pointed out that there was a drain he had missed on the other side of the lane, as it was under a layer of tarmacadam. Apparently that wasn’t his problem either.
I wonder how long it will be before the drains fill up with dirt again.
“I wonder how long it will be before the drains fill up with dirt again.”
That is not your problem Sir. These things must be left to the “experts”.