So that tedious trial is over.

I had never heard of Heard [!] and knew that Depp was an actor of somesort though I doubt I have seen any of his films. He seems to be famous for portraying a pirate or something. Anyways the two of them decided to wash their dirty linen in public so she sues him and he then sues her. For fuck’s sake, who gives a shit?

Even worse was that other case [that may or may not be over] between two footballers’ wives who were slagging each other off over something someone said on social media. What is wrong with the world? Two total nonentities getting air time over something that is so banal? The two footballers would have been bad enough but somehow being a footballer’s wife elevates one to the level of “celebrity” which in my book means being famous for being famous and not worth an iota of my time.

Much more interesting was the case of the bloke in Dublin who was caught after a police chase up the motorway with his wife and kids in the car. You have to admit it’s a novel form of a family outing? So this chappie has already amassed 226 convictions which isn’t bad for a 34 year old? Sadly we are only given a taste of what these convictions were for but I would suggest he might think of an alternative career if he has been caught that many times.

What amused me was that this time around, apart from being wanted for burglary he was driving without licence, tax or insurance and was actually disqualified at the time. What did the judge do? Disqualify him from driving again. Er. Yes. That will work well.

The case that has really intrigued me though is the case of “The Ukrainian Author”. I notice she is consistently referred to as an author though they never say what she has written. Has she written a book? An article in a magazine? A shopping list? In any case in future I am going to insist on being called an Author in any future court appearances.

Anyhows, this Author comes to Ireland as a refugee from Ukraine. So far so good. She is given accommodation by Trinity College which is something they may do for all authors? [I must enquire about that]. Next she decides to go to Luxembourg [why, we aren’t told] and just walks onto the plane. This in itself is a miracle as travellers with full tickets, luggage and boarding passes can’t get onto a plane these days – last weekend 1,400 of them had to stand in queues for hours for the privilege of watching their planes depart before they could get through security. So Author gets my full admiration.

But she is caught and is brought to court. She is given bail, obviously because she’s an Author and not a Pleb. She skips bail and has been thrown out of her Trinity accommodation. She’s now on the lam with a warrant out for her arrest.

She sounds like my kind of gal.